Marilyn Oma Anona writes: What happens when your spouse evolves?

Marriage is a beautiful thing and is infact one of the most beautiful things about human existence. Marriage helps to maintain the society and keep it orderly. Marriage when it turns out good, helps to bring great people into the society. Marriage is a major difference between man and animals.

Marilyn oma Anona
Host/Producer
Omaliving Show

Every week, people get married…
We are happy…
We go to eat the popular and famous Nigerian jollof rice!

But the sad truth is, most of these marriages crumble in no time.
And what is even sadder is, divorce and separation are becoming so common that people seem to see nothing wrong with it.

But like it or not…
I am certain that no one likes to ever encounter issues that would lead to divorce in marriage!

What then will make a couple last?

Over the years…
People have said and argued that compatibility makes a married couple last!

As i grew and observed happenings around me, i discovered that this is false.

When you are compatible with someone, you will never have issues in those areas where you are compatible.

The problem lies in coping with those areas of your lives where you are not compatible.
No 2 persons can be 100% compatible. Not even identical twins. Your parents are not 100% compatible, the best couples are not 100% compatible.
So how do they cope?
What is the secret?

In deciding to get married, things to look out for are numerous.
Character, values, goals, likes and dislikes, sexual compatibility and orientation, ideologies and lots more.

Let me talk about ideology.

Marrying a person with similar ideologies like you doesn’t guarantee the success of your marriage.

You know why?

Ideologies change sometimes!

People rediscover themselves, evolve constantly and may encounter certain things along the line that will change their thoughts and belief about what they think they can never stop believing!

How come there are bishops who denounced the catholic faith?

How come there are native doctors who later started going to church?

How come someone told you APC is Islam yet they defected to the same party?

How come OJUKWU led the Biafran war yet advised against it…
Found APGA and advised Igbos to get involved in politics!

How come a woman I know who said she doesn’t want to give birth to more than 2 kids ended up having 6?

Sharing the same ideologies with who ever it is you are getting married to will not make your marriage work.

Stop dreaming!

What makes marriage stand the test of time is wisdom…
Another is the determination to make it work…
Third you have COMPROMISE!

Marriage is not politics neither is it a battle for supremacy.

Work on yourself to being too domineering and controlling and learn to listen.

Compromise doesn’t mean weakness.
It is wisdom in a lot of cases.

Sometimes, you need to stoop to conquer.

Wisdom is very principal. Without it, a lot of things go wrong even love makes no meaning.

Our marriages can last if we all can pause to think.

I hope this short article has been able to enlighten, inspire and motivate you.

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