Laughs out loud, yes I told Chiamaka not to make that mistake of going back to Taye but she didn’t listen and you know we ladies… She didn’t listen and not just that, she went behind me saying I didn’t want her happy and as a result didn’t want to encourage her.
What happened after she went back to Taye? The same thing that made them part ways continued this time in a higher degree and she couldn’t come back to complain as a result of shame.
Well, people break up for a lot of reasons it could be differing life goals, incompatible sex lives, or an unwillingness to meet each other’s needs and wants, there was something that came in between the two of you as a couple. A lot of people may not want to be open and sincere about the reason or reasons for breakup. But the ones I hear often are he is a bloody cheat, she nags a lot, he beats me, she is unfaithful etc
The truth is some of the reasons I hear for breaking up are really lame and make a lot of people appear dingy to me . Some are good enough reasons though and some just in the middle .
Go back to an EX? Why do you want to consider that?
You may claim to still love them. They may claim to have repented from whatever it is that made you fall out with each other. It could be Feelings of heartbreak, loneliness, and nostalgia clouding your vision and causing you make the wrong decision. So, if you are considering getting back with an ex, please think and think over it again and again.
Ask yourself why you want to go back and analyse why they want to come back.
As much as some people want to ignore that plain truth, and try again, the best idea is to leave the past where it belongs, behind you.
Instead, you should take what you can from the experience and move on.
This is for everyone, single, divorced, separated.
please read this and be honest with yourself. These are reasons you shouldn’t get back together with your ex. Take them seriously!
1. There is a good chance you are headed for the same problems. I am almost certain your ex hasn’t changed, you are going to run into the same problems all over again.
Similar patterns are bound to reoccur if you have one individual coming into the partnership as the same person that left it. If you ex didn’t learn anything from your last relationship together, and didn’t take the time to grow as a person, and a partner, odds are you are going to have some of the same issues as the last time around.
Say, for instance, in your first relationship with each other your ex was constantly beating you up or abusing you verbally and wants to now come back… What are the chances that he or she has changed and will not be that same person?
If your ex hasn’t progressed as an individual, and especially if you have, you are bound to run into similar problems in your relationship if you try again. It’s better not to relive past irritations by giving your ex another chance. He is constantly calling on the phone and wants a come back badly and the minute you miss a call he starts boiling with rage yet he has changed and you want to go back… Okay o! I wish you luck on the second part of living in bondage you want to produce but Oma is saying, do not go back!
2. Your ex might have new problems or challenges. This can be a major reason to think twice about giving your ex another chance. Depending on how long it’s been since the two of you have broken up, or how well you have kept in touch, your ex might have acquired a whole new set of problems while you were apart.
New problems can come in many forms such as a loss, depression, a change in career ,family issues, health problems, or another relationship.
And if your ex has been dating someone else since your last breakup, there could very well be a new ex in the picture. And it’s not easy to date your ex if they have just come out of a relationship with their own ex, especially if their ex is persistent to stay in your ex’s life!
If it was a serious relationship, you might find that your ex is thinking of them often, instead of focusing on building your new relationship. How far you want to get into dealing with this new baggage depends on your commitment to your ex, and your new relationship together lol!
Do you want to go back? Think again darling.
3. They have been sleeping with so many other people. It means they would still have two or more sex mates no matter how they pretend they want you so badly.
4. You are not in love with him or her, sweetheart you are just attached.
The reality is nobody likes to be wrong. Nobody likes to feel like all the time and energy they invested was just a waste. We want to feel validated in the feelings we thought we had for this person and that is hard to do when we are faced with the relationship being over. So many times our desire to take that ex back isn’t because we are really “in love” with them. It is simply our way of holding on to the hope that we didn’t get this wrong. That we didn’t just fight all this time to get and keep this relationship when in reality that person was never meant for us to begin with. Fear is motivating us more than love. I know this because it has happened to me.
For some people it’s just lust that reel them back in. I could name a few more reasons but at the end of the day none of them are truly about love. We just use that label to validate our actions. So if you are not truly in love, then why bother taking them back. You are only setting yourself up for you or them to leave again.
Some people don’t realize what they have until it’s gone, but that does not always mean they are supposed to get it back. Your ex is an ex for a reason. Taking the time to truly understand those reasons will make it clearer if you should entertain getting back with them. Stop getting caught up in what you think you want and focus on what you really need. Regardless of what you decide to do forgiveness will still be needed. Because without forgiveness which which allows you heal your next significant other will simply become your next ex… Now that’s bad!
5. You broke up for a reason.
It’s so easy, even just a few weeks out of a serious split, to look back on your relationship and see nothing but great romance and sweet compatibility. But this nostalgia is likely false or even if you actually did have a lot of moments worth smiling about, your fickle mind is selectively ignoring all of the things that made you two end this thing in the first place. Who wants to painfully reflect on memories of cheating or constant arguments when they are in a cab in great thought that they pass the point where they should alight?No one. You are likely to want to erase that from your mind and only think about the time they held your hand while you were in Utako market shopping together, lol!
But let’s not be so hasty as to forget how much of your time together was spent arguing about tedious, unimportant things, or insulting each other, or sleeping with someone else. If you broke up, don’t do the you of a short time ago a disservice and completely forget why it happened. You should be aware of all the facets of your now-over relationship, not just the awesome ones, oops! Was that harsh? It’s just the plain truth darling. Don’t go back to that EX you may run mad this time.
6. You are just going to break up again. I know that we all like to believe that we are the miraculous exception to the rules about love and dating, but the truth is, you are probably just going to break up again. We all know one or two sad couples who are constantly having some fight, vowing never to speak to each other again, sleeping together a week later, and putting that relationship right back up on Facebook or BBM or Instagram the next day lol. You know that feeling when you see pictures of them back together for the thirteenth time in a year and you are just like, “Please tell me they are using protection, no child needs to be a part of this.” Yeah, no one wants to be that guy. It’s painful to see people who cannot accept that they are simply not meant to be. Save yourself while you can.
7. It’s only appealing because it’s familiar.
I’m not saying there were no other qualities in your ex that you loved, or simply “can’t find in another person” but let’s not pretend like a huge part of the appeal is familiarity. You already know what the other one likes, what they think, and generally who they are as a person. You get to have that awesome “reunited-and-it-feels-so-good” makeup sex, followed by however long your renewed relationship lasts. You get to jump into everything feet-first and not have to blindly feel your way through the sometimes-awkward, sometimes-awesome getting to know each other process. Who isn’t at least a little temped by the convenience, the familiarity, and the relatively low level of effort? We can all be lazy, romantically speaking. But don’t get yourself sucked into the idea that just because something is well-known means that it’s inherently better than the other options. After all, the butterflies of meeting someone new are pretty awesome, too. Hehe!
8.There are billions of other people on earth.
While it may seem as though the entire world has been trimmed down into You and Your Ex, the truth is that there are so many people out there with whom to create an entirely new storyline. And while it may seem daunting, to have to find someone with whom to start all over again and possibly end up crashing and burning like before, it also holds so much hope. There are uncharted paths of people with whom you don’t necessarily fight over everything, with whom things just click, with whom you can just be yourself and possibly not have to deal with a breakup of any kind. And even if you don’t meet the person of your dreams, at least you tried. You tried, and it didn’t involve sulking back to your ex for what you already know doesn’t work. Feel me?
9. Repeating the same thing and expecting a different result is foolishness.
Humans don’t change. You spent 10 years trying to make it work until it came crashing. What are you going to do differently this time? Save yourself the disaster and move on with your life. Regard that relationship as though it’s a broken bottle that can’t be repaired.
Enough said, these are some of the reasons why you should never go back to an EX. Let them be and simply move on. Going back has the the high chances to lead to more disaster than you earlier saw. This time it might cost you your life.
You don’t force compatibility. You don’t learn it. You don’t force love.
If it didn’t work the first time, IT WILL NOT WORK THE 2ND TIME! This is because I know you have tried heaven and earth before it came crashing down.
Be sure to vote tomorrow as Nigeria decides.
Be Enlightened! Be inspired!! Be Motivated!!!