MARILYN ANONA writes: We as parents or parents to be play a very vital role in bringing up confident people into the society.

Good morning beautiful people, I believe we are all doing great today. I assure you that today is going to be more beautiful than yesterday was. So put on all the energy, enthusiasm, optimism and of course confidence that you need for today’s activities.

But first, let’s talk about self confidence briefly. This is something that most people lack. They don’t believe in themselves and in their abilities even when they are loaded. They feel too shy and timid when they should not be. And most times, this is detrimental.

Everyone of us is shy to some extent. Its only a mad person that doesn’t get shy at all. But when this shyness is extreme, its a problem. It boils down to low self esteem and inferiority complex.

What are the things that make people grow up lacking confidence even when they are so beautiful, intelligent etc.

The major factor being this is upbringing… Yes, the way parents train their kid go a long way to make them have self confidence or lack it. But I think parents and parents should strive to see that their kids have a balanced level of self confidence because it makes them better adults and indviduals to the society.

I have never heard that anyone was given a brochure on how to train their kids during the wedding ceremony. Its just a natural thing for humans to be able to nurture our off springs and that’s one of the clear difference between us and other mammals. We should therefore make sure we bring up our kids in a way that they are confident, content with who they are and happy about their lives.

We should all make this our main duty as parents or would be parents. Its better to invest your time training your kids the right and best way so that they end up as good kids… Than being too busy for them and then they grow up being a menace to you and the society and you now spend your retirement age trying to correct errors done years ago.

For a child to grow up into an adult who exudes self confidence, it starts with his or her parents showing them love. A child who was always cuddled, given fond pet names, was sang to sleep (lullaby) will grow up feeling loved and secured and that automatically instill self confidence in such a child.

I watch some mothers or even fathers do some things and I feel terribly bad. For example, when their child starts to cry (a child of not more than 3 years)… You will see them abandon and even beating up a crying child, saying things like “let him cry” when he is tired he will sleep!

This is very wrong and damages a child’s psychology. We think that because they have not started talking and we probably don’t understand them that they are obliovious of what’s happening.
I am sorry for you because children/babies understand a lot and absorb a lot. Its therefore very important that you speak loving words to your babies/children. Play with them, sing to them and blab with them… These help to build a stong bond between you and your children. It propagates confidence into that child. His body releases hormones that makes him feel safe.

You should learn to praise your kids, give them wonderful fond names, appreciate them, give them attention etc. You don’t know the impact of these minor things in the life of that child who will eventually grow up into an adult.
I often hear parents tell their kids “you are so ugly, who do you even look like?”
What do you think you are doing to this child? Its simply not fair. You are damaging this child and he will grow up thinking he is so damn ugly and be very shy in the midst of his friends.
I have met so many people like that! They think they are not good because they have heard it so many times while growing up.
Please we should be mindful of these things.

In some homes, children will not laugh, they will not play… And these are the ones who grow up into weird and strange adults. How will laughter be an offence in a home? Is that home a cemetary or a mortuary?

This post is meant to be brief and I would love to stop here. But I promise to give you a more detailed one soon.
But the message is simple… We as parents or parents to be play a very vital role in bringing up confident people into the society. Its better to instill confidence because its very hard to restore a lost confidence.

Children, that will eventually grow into adults, need affection. They need to know that someone loves them enough to give them time, cuddles, attention. Kids will be more confident in themselves if their parents actually seem to enjoy their company. If their parents make time to play with them and amuse them rather than sending them in to watch TV or play with their toys, they will have higher self esteem.

Create a happy safe family environment in your home where everyone, regardless of age, is respected and admired.

This is very important! I grew up in a home where we all act like siblings. If you hear me talk to my father on the phone, you may think I am talking to my brother or a friend. Growing up, sometimes we have dancing competition in my house, everyone will dance and yab (tease) one another, not minding who is the dad or mum. We all have nicknames… Dad has, mum had , I have and all my siblings too.

I grew up hearing all sorts of positive words from my parents to me. Things like, my beautiful daughter, my pride etc. And when my dad sees a very beautiful person on TV he would say, “Nne, she looks like you, but you are prettier” lol…

All these contributed immensely to shaping me into a very confident young woman. I got and still get so much love from them.

Parents should please love their kids and appreciate them. Tell them positive things. It doesn’t mean you should not reprimand them when they do something wrong. But stop abusing them psychologically, its damaging to them and the society because individuals make up a society.

Please let me stop here today…
Do have a wonderful wednesday.

Be Enlightened! Be Inspired!! Be Motivated!!!

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