Archive | September 2014

MARILYN ANONA writes: Nothing is too small… And nothing is too big! Faithfulness is very essential at all times.

And someone sent you on an errand to buy say detergent… He is a much older person and doesn’t have the time to go to the shops asking for the prices of all items, you bought a pack of “Ariel” a brand of detergent here in Nigeria for 350 Naira and instead of giving him back 650 Naira, you gave him 300 Naira. And he took the change and in your mind, you have made free 350 Naira… And you concluded in your mind he is a mugu for not asking the exact price or not exclaiming in surprise why a small packet of ariel should be sold for 700 Naira.

Let’s assume he asked and told you that the one he bought the other day was 300 Naira, you will argue and go behind him to say he is so stingy, ordinary 300 Naira!

Ordinary 300 Naira you say? Wow! Well for me, nothing is ordinary and nothing is so little or small. Yes, that’s the mistake we often make… I didn’t really put my mind to it because its just not big! I mean is it not just ordinary AC I didn’t turn off? Why does she sound like I did something so terrible? Abeg she is too fussy!

I usually tell people, if you are not careful with that little thing, you won’t be careful with the so called big thing.
Just like I always say, a thief is a thief… It doesn’t matter if he stole 100,000 Naira or 1 million Naira. If he saw 50 million Naira, he would have stolen it as well.

This is also the case for most people. We exhibit poor attitude to work because to us the salary is too small. You are asked to do a job, you won’t do it or you do it grudgingly which reflects in the output at the end of the day. You don’t put in your best because you are paid 50,000 thousand Naira. But no one forced you to pick the job and there are millions who are out there fasting, praying and crying on daily basis for such jobs to come. You should have turned down the job knowing that the pay is too small for you.

You are not faithful and you don’t try to be in everything you do and your reason is “its not really a big thing” … Well, nothing is too small or too big because small and big are relative. What is too small for you might be too big for the other and that’s why you should be faithful!

Let’s take relationship for example… Yes romantic relationship between a man and a woman! You are seeing someone and seeing so many at the same time and when reprimanded, you back it up with “she is not my wife yet or has he paid my bride price?” And that’s how you enter into holy matrimony take marital vows and still cheat because cheating is already in your blood stream, you are already so used to it.

Nothing is too small… And nothing is too big! Faithfulness is very essential at all times.

If you want more, if you must progress then you must be faithful in even the things you see as little!
An Igbo adage says, “Adiro amu aka ekpe na nka”…
When translated to English, it means “one doesn’t learn to use the left hand at old age”…

What do you understand from this adage?
It simply means that we get so used to some things that they become part of us and hard to change.

There is something most of us don’t know. If you cannot put in a lot of dedication, faithfulness and diligence in someone else’s business, the chances that you will do well as a self employed person are very slim. When some hear the term “SELF EMPLOYMENT OR ENTREPRENUERSHIP” they think its avenue to rest…

You are so wrong to think this way! Being self employed or being an entrepreneur means more responsibility, more stress and more expectation. The success or failure of your venture depends 100% on you! So its more work, work and more work!!! So you see what I mean? Being faithful in little helps to build you up for the huge task ahead ie if you are ambitious and interested in making giant strides in life.

Many of us want a stable career, a stable and long lasting marriage but while we are on the part to get to this level, we neglect character… We neglect faithfulness and which is exactly why the world is this type of problem. A lot of unfaithful people. People who think they should be faithful only in big venture but when the big venture comes, their unfaithfulness increases as well.

let’s use betrayal as an instance… Many of us have or claim to have experienced the worst form of betrayal from folks we have trusted… Folks we can lay down our lives for!
But you know why that person hurt you badly?
He or she hurt you badly because you have been ignoring previous incidents with similar signs of betrayals on the account that its just too small. I am sure she meant no harm, its just a small thing!
Then when the big thing happens, she shows you hell and then you start to cry!

Nothing is ever too small… I am stressing it because I want it to sink in!

Being faithful in little is very important and unfortunately, the society lacks people who are faithful In little, that’s why people:

1. Do not want to pass through the process, they won’t sharp results without putting in genuine effort. We want to plant and harvest same day ie if we plant at all, we want to build a house in a week, we want to do everything at the same time or in a short space of time.

2. That’s why patience isn’t a value that is worth having. The patient dog doesn’t eat the fattest bone anymore they say… The patient dog dies of starvation!

3. That’s why there are lots of prostitutes, armed robbers, kidnappers and fraudulent people on the streets. They only see Dangote the wealthy man, they don’t ever want to know his story and the process he went through.

4. That’s why we do not believe in merit, we prefer to cut corners… Buying jobs, results, nepotism and all sorts.

5. That’s why people do not utilize their talents, they must be paid for it.

And the list could go on and on!

Are you a faithful person? Are you faithful in little? Or are you waiting for the big take before you can become faithful?

Are you the one who will hype prices when asked to do something just because according to you, you are hungry… Are you the one who will intentionally not do a thing and back it up with “I forgot” just because you won’t be given money for doing that thing?

Are you the one who will say, I don’t care where he got the money from, all I know is he is successful and should be celebrated!
Or she is driving a G guard, I don’t care if she is a prostitute o, omo! She is a big girl o… She is a correct babe!
Are you the one who believes that because a thief buys computers for schools, buys seats for churches etc that he should be celebrated?

Our society has thrown values and celebrate the wrong things simply because we were not faithful in little and as a result not faithful when the big thing comes.

Being faithful in little will save individuals and save the society.
It will save families from collapse and we won’t have divorce/separation here and there.
It will save talents/gifts.
It will save careers.
It will make the world a very beautiful place because people will be more sincere and careful.

Values: faithfulness, honesty and character etc are still very much needed and we can revive them.
Its not late to start, let’s make the society a better place by being the change we want to see.

Be Enlightened! Be Inspired!! Be Motivated!!!

MARILYN ANONA writes: And someone may ask… Are mood swings big issues to be discussed?

Marilyn Anona

Marilyn Anona


Have you ever experienced a situation where it seems like you quickly graduated from a period of extreme happiness to what seems like extreme unhappiness? Or anything of that sort? Well, maybe it has happened to you but you never took notice. To you its just a normal thing. You can back it up with “I just remembered something and it changed my mood” etc.

Well, this type of situation is called “MOOD SWING” which everyone has experienced but for some people, it may be a part of their lives.

Some kind of mood swings are just natural, like waking up in the morning full of energy, zeal and warmth and coming back after a hard, long day feeling down and beat up… This is natural!

But some mood swings are so extreme and therefore not natural because it affects both the person whose mood is swinging, the people around them and the person’s general productivity in life. This type of dangerous mood swing can linger on for days or even weeks… In such cases, the person will neither talk nor be with anyone… They won’t go to work, church, school or do anything at all.

The truth is, most times the people who experience this type of dangerous mood swing do not even know it. They think its just a normal part of their lives, their nature and who they are and they often say things like ” I am just like that, sometimes I just lock up” … Lock up for days? Not going to work? Not eating? Not talking to anyone?

Well honey, its not acceptable because its not good for you and me and the other people around you.

When mood swings are less serious like the instance I gave above and other similar cases, we can accept its a person’s nature or personality trait. But when its extreme and lingers for days without anything to really say the cause is, then its a serious problem which can not be denied or covered up.

But what are the actual causes of mood swings? What makes a person drift from a happy mood to a sad mood in such an automatic manner?

There are Psychiatric and Non Psychiatric causes of mood swings… The psychiatric causes are a lot more dangerous than the Non psychiatric!

Psychiatric Causes:
1. Bipolar Disorder:
A situation where a person suffers mood extremes and often have opposite reactions to events which surprises people. They will be happy when they should be sad and sad when they should be happy etc. Some of us know the Katy perry Song titled “HOT n COLD” talking about some guy she was in love with who acts bipolar. Hot and cold almost same minute.

2. Depression: This is one huge cause of mood swings. And its so difficult because most depressed people do not even know it. A lot of people think depression is just an instantaneous situation ie a period when one feels low but it goes beyond that. Many people are suffering from chronic depression but hardly know it. This causes a change in moods often and on to the surprise and discomfort of all around you.

3. Substance Abuse: This includes abuse (usually over use) of drug, alcohol etc. People who fall in this group often experience bouts of mood swings because of the excess amount of these substances in them.

4. Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder:
This is one of the most common childhood disorders and can continue through adolescence and adulthood. Symptoms include difficulty staying focused and paying attention, difficulty controlling behavior, and hyperactivity (over-activity).

People who fall under this should seek care from professionals who could be psychiatric DOCTORS, therapists, counsellors etc depending on the degree and frequency of these bouts of mood swings so that this conditions can be tackled in order for the person to live a normal life. But sadly, most people just go on suffering because they do not realize they have a problem in the first place.

Non Psychiatric Causes:

1. Stress.
2. Pregnancy.
3. Menopause.
4. Puberty.
5. Side effect of medication.
6. Illness, brain tumour, injuries.

The Non Psychiatric causes of mood swings are less harmful because they are often momentary, come naturally and go naturally as well. So the mood swings that come with the Non Psychiatric causes are just natural reactions.

Mood swings have a lot of adverse or negative effects on the sufferers and the people around them. Some of these effects are:

1. Mood swings especially the ones caused by psychiatric situations makes a person appear weird and very abnormal. You are misunderstood. People are scared of you because they don’t know your next reaction. This goes to say that, mood swings affect your relationship with people. And if it affects your relationship with people, I mean regular people, then…

2. Mood swings affects your relationship with your spouse 100% negatively. Who can cope with someone who flares up like a volcano when something worth being happy over is said or someone who becomes sad when something joyful happens (I don’t mean tears of joy, I mean real sadness). Maybe, you can cope if it happens once in a while… But I know you can’t cope when its like everyday and sometimes you have a bout of such mood swing linger on for days… Haba!

3. Mood swings make you unproductive. According to you, you locked up! What has been happening all through the days you locked up? The world paused for you to open up your lock? Did the clock stop ticking? You see, this mood swing you constantly experience, has no positive effect on you. Just negative.

4. Mood swings affect your self confidence and self esteem. One of the psychiatric causes of mood swing is depression. And for you to be depressed in the first place, it means you have this intense feeling of hopelessness and low self worth. There is something happening to you that makes you feel inadequate which we as outsiders may not know. That explains why you may have a good career and still be depressed.
Depression is entirely different from feeling sad or unhappy. Its a much longer state of misery. Its a disease.

5. Mood swings affect your health. Most times, they come with loss of appetite, insomnia, etc and we all know what lack of sleep and not eating properly does to our body. Your immune system is disturbed, you become vulnerable to some illness and you fall ill. So mood swing is not just about our mental health, the body is linked to the mind.

Okay, how do we remedy these mood swing issues? We may think it doesn’t concern us because we don’t fall under the psychiatric cases… But it does affect us one way or the other. You may be so unfortunate to be a victim of violence exhibited by someone who is experiencing mood swings due to substance abuse. Your siblings, relatives or friends maybe experiencing mood swings caused by either depression of bipolar disorder and its your duty to help them. So how do we fix this problem?

1. Patience: We must be patient with the people who experience this problem. Don’t make them feel like they have a problem or that they are abnormal. Remember, its not their fault in the first place.

2. Treat them with love. Let them know that they are loved no matter what they are going through especially in the case of depression. Or that they are loved more than anything no matter what it is they have gone through that now makes them abuse substance. Do not reject, hate or despise them.

3. Make them seek professional help. They can see a doctor, a therapist or a counsellor. And you must also know that its not a one visit kind of thing. It goes on for a long time depending on degree or gravity for a good result to be achieved. It won’t be easy getting them to seek this. It will be more difficult if you have always given them the impression that they are not normal… Despised or rejected them etc.
But if you have been showing them love and putting yourself in their shoes, getting them to seek this professional help won’t be much of a big nut to crack.

4. Get them to eat the right food. Some food are known to change our mood and put us in a better frame of mind. Get them to eat more of those food. Some vegetables are known to help, some sea foods like fishes, things like walnuts, almonds, some kind of meat, foods reach in omega 3 etc are known to help.

5. Learn to pamper, pet and make them feel special. People who experience these mood swings need to know that they are cared for. Don’t say things like “you think I have your time?” “You need help o” etc. Be interested in knowing what it is that bothers them and makes them “lock up” (smiles, I love this lock up phrase). Listen to them.

And someone may ask… Are mood swings big issues to be discussed?
Yes! They are huge issues… They are bigger than we think.
Many have committed suicide because of this. Many have committed heinous crimes because of this. Dreams have been lost because of this. Divorce and separation keep occuring because of this. What about domestic violence and unnecessary rifts between people? What of child abuse?
A lot of things have gone wrong and are still going wrong because of MOOD SWINGS.

Please help someone today. You can remedy a lot by doing so.

Do have a Marvelous Monday and thanks for visiting.
Please share this article to as many people as you can.

Be Enlightened! Be Inspired!! Be Motivated!!!

MARILYN ANONA writes: Being a fashionista or stylista goes beyond trend, colours and labels… Your body shape is the most important. What is your body shape?

Wow!!! Mercy Johnson looks amazing in this dress, I must get it! Omo, see fitting.

My goodness!!! Did you see that outfit on Beyonce?, I must rock this look next week o.
Kai!!! Victoria Beckham can dress o… Everything she wears fits her perfectly. *smiling*, these are some of the statements you hear from ladies.

Most will just go about copying a particular person’s style of dressing, following trend… Forgetting that there is more to dressing, being a fashionista or a stylista.

Being a fashionista or a stylista doesn’t mean you have every trending outfit at any point in time. It doesn’t mean having 1 million clothes in your wardrobe.

Being a fashionista or a stylista is all about knowing your body type. This is because your body type determines what flatters you most.

Knowing your body type or shape will give you a perfect guide on who to copy if you can’t carve out your own style… It will give you a guide on the best colours to wear… The best pattern… The best cut… The best style etc.

Being a fashionista, a stylista and looking good is 100% dependent on knowing your body type or shape.

Its very wrong for you to be for example, “APPLE” shaped and yet you go about dressing like an “HOUR GLASS” shaped woman… You will always look ugly, confused and annoying no matter how trendy you are or how costly the entire ensemble may be.

You have a very big upper body and small lower body, yet you are so in love with body con dresses and the sleeveless ones at that… You just enter into a social gathering looking like Johnny Bravo. Not because you can’t look better but because you are wearing the wrong clothes.

If an outfit flattens you instead of flattering you, then there is a big problem. You should study your body to know what parts to accentuate and the parts to hide.

Chicly, an apple shaped person should not be caught dead on this

Chicly, an apple shaped person should not be caught dead on this

Sometimes, when I go to buy clothes and I keep turning down most, people around may think I am fussy or insatiable or have an annoying taste… But I know what I seek!
I know it goes beyond colours and trend… I know it goes beyond labels and size!
I know my body and I choose clothes based on my body. I know what style suits me most, so when I see the style, I can now ask for the colour I want in that style. Because even if its the best designer label, the most expensive etc, you will still look so unattractive as long as it is wrong for your shape.

I was trying to patronize a friend of mine who sells clothes and I was looking for a particular type of blouse. At some point, she showed me something that can pass for what I requested for… But I quickly said nope! That’s not for me. She asked why? And I told her the stripes are “Horizontal”… This top is best for a girl whose upper body is visibly slimmer, because horizontal stripes makes the body look bigger. She was amazed and asked, how did you know that? I told her I have always been a fan of extensive knowledge and I knew this right from my junior secondary school days.

What are my saying? I am simply saying that knowing your body type or shape will help you know:
1. What type of neck line to go for ie whether its a V neck or a round neck. The round neck isn’t very good for those who are very busty and have a bigger upper body. They are advised to wear the V neck more.

Chicly, please don't wear this if you are pear shaped especially if you are short, you will look swampy.

Chicly, please don’t wear this if you are pear shaped especially if you are short, you will look swampy.

2. What type of stripe is most suited for you. For those who have a heavy upper body, you should wear the vertical stripe tops or blouses if you must do stripe and wear the horizontal skirts.

3. What type of cut is most suited for you. Not every shape flatters a body con skirt, you should go for flared skirts if you are not that shapely. Flared or A line skirts will make you more beautiful and graceful.

Toun, please wear this if you are apple shaped... you are very safe with this.

Toun, please wear this if you are apple shaped… you are very safe with this.

4. What type of sleeve is most suited for you. I often see a lot of women with mighty arms putting on sleeveless tops. Not even a chiffon sleeveless top, a tank top! I just marvel and envy them same time. The reason I envy them is, they look so ugly in such outfits but don’t even know it. A typical example of “ignorance is bliss”.
Please the only person who gets away entirely with sleveless tops is the one with an hour glass shape, the one who is outrightly slim even though she is cylindrical (straight) or pear shaped. But for the apple shaped person (the one with a visibly upper body), biko stay away from sleeveless! Its a big offense for you to wear them. Your clothes must have sleeve no matter how small.

5. What type of pants/ trousers suit you most. A lot of people are so guilty here. Its all about trend. That’s why you will embarrass the public by wearing high waist pants when you look horrible in them. That’s why skinny pants are your favourite. That’s why you think flared pants are not in vogue anymore. If you are apple shaped and must wear skinny pants, you must be very particular about the top/blouse you are pairing with that pant. But the best pant for you is flared, baggy etc. Please stop wearing that tight round neck T-shirt over skinny pants. Its not good at all. Skinny pants are good on women with a good size of butts and hips… The butts and hips must not be extremely big, but are proportional with the body.

6. What type of blouses are best for you. Knowing your body will help you know the best blouse to wear. If you are not curvy, wear maxim tops (tops that are pitched immediately below the bust), wear tops that enable you use belts to accentuate your waist (creating an illusion of a slimmer waist) etc. Having read about the neckline, the type of sleeve etc, you should have a clearer idea by now.

7. What type of colours are best for you. Dark colours like black, navy blue, navy green, coffee brown have a slimming effect on the body. They make you appear slimmer than you really are and do not attract much attention. While the very sharp and bright colours attract. Now the psychology is, do not wear bright colours on that part of your body where you don’t want attention. If your Upper body is large, stick with the dark tops etc.

8. What type of bras that suit you most. Yes this is important because being busty is a component of some body type. While the pear shaped is almost bust less, the apple shaped is always busty. So each body type should go with the right bra.

These are some of the tips that will help you dress better and be the cynosure of all eyes where ever you enter even though you don’t have the hour glass shape.

Basically, there are 4 basic body types, they are:

Hour glass, Mercy Johnson

Hour glass, Mercy Johnson

1. The Hour Glass Shape:
This is the perfect shape. The one Nigerians call “Figure 8″… The thing is, only very few women are blessed with this type of body. If you are one of them, then you are very blessed. You don’t need any effort dressing up except of course your problem is from your village. Some times, people mistake this body type with the pear shape. Nope! They are not same. The hour glass figure has a full upper body that is balanced with the hips too. She has bust, she has a good shoulder, wide hips, full legs, visibly slimmer waist. Example of someone in this category is Mercy Johnson.

Pear Shaped, Omotola Jalade

Pear Shaped, Omotola Jalade

2. The Pear Shape:
This is the body shape where the upper body is visibly smaller than the lower body. Women in this category, often have very small boobs, narrow rounded shoulders, Slim waist, very large hips, most also have slim legs and very few in this category have the full legs. Example of someone in this category is Omotola Jalade.

Cylindrical Shaped, Yvonne Nelson

Cylindrical Shaped, Yvonne Nelson

3. The Cylindrical (straight shape):
Now, many are already visualizing a body so straight and without curves… Nope! You are wrong. A straight shape is not one that lacks curves but one where every part of the woman’s body appears equal. The waist isn’t slim and it isn’t big too, just ideal. The hips are not too wide but curvy in a beautiful way. The legs are long, the boobs are okay but some may be busty as well as bust less. A higher percentage women fall into this category. Example of someone here is Yvonne Nelson.

4. The Apple Shape:
This is the body type where the upper body of the woman is visibly bigger than her lower body. Its often characterized by slim legs, very big bust, big arms, big tommy, small bottom, no hips, big back, shoulders may be broad but not always. Dressing up for this body type is very tasking, so a lot of care must be taken. People with this shape are advised to stay slim as weight gain isn’t good for them at all. Example of someone in this category is Ngozi Ezeonu.

These are the 4 basic body shapes. Its very important that every woman knows her body in order to dress more appropriately and make an impression anywhere she goes.

Remember, being a fashionista or stylista goes beyond trend, colours and labels… Your body shape is the most important.

Next time I will talk about how to know your body shape, the best exercise and diet for you, the diseases associated with each body shape, how your body shape affects your metabolism and lots more.

Enjoy your Friday!

Be Enlightened! Be Inspired!! Be Motivated!!!

This entry was posted on September 26, 2014. 16 Comments

Meet our POSH STYLE PERSONALITY of the week “Chiclyyours”

Chiclyyours

Chiclyyours

Our POSH STYLE PERSONALITY for this week is a very intelligent, fashionable and passionate lady. She is known as Chiclyyours.

Chicly

Chicly

Please read about her and share her style…

Chicly

Chicly

Chiclyyours:
Well, I wish it was that straightforward but since it isn’t, you will get the full story behind my name(s). My aunts, uncles, and grandparents were all too eager to name the first daughter of the family so I ended up with six names excluding my last. To spare you of all the boring details and make it easy, you may call me Deborah or Tanti (pronounced Tan-Tee meaning “lady” in my native language, Ewe).

Chicly

Chicly

I am a simple gal with a deep passion for fashion. To me fashion is a way to express myself through my personal style, which I would describe as simple, chic and elegant. In order to define my evolving style, I had to accept myself the way I am.  The truth is, I had to wear heavy leg-braces until the age of 15.

Chicly

Chicly

At a very young age, my parents taught me to never let my physical disability prevent me from doing what I love. Thanks to the support of my family and friends, I finally kicked my insecurities aside and here I am sharing my style with you.

Chicly

Chicly


I am not much of a trend-follower but I do make an effort to not fall too far behind. I wear what I feel looks good on me, fits my personality and perhaps the occasion. I strongly believe that you can look fabulous and chic everyday as long as you know your body and what works for you. Lord knows I still secretly wish I could wear mini skirts.

Besides fashion, I am passionate about education. I firmly believe that it is one of, if not the most important asset a person or society should invest in. Education is a powerful tool that reduces poverty and inequality across the board. What are you passionate about?

Thank you so much for reading and I hope you stick around!

Chiclyyours,

XO

Please contact her on http://www.chiclyyours.com

Now, what do you think about her style?
For me, its simple, classy and stylish.

Please share your thoughts...

Remember you can feature by contacting us.

Be Enlightened! Be Inspired!! Be Motivated!!!

MARILYN ANONA writes: We as parents or parents to be play a very vital role in bringing up confident people into the society.

Good morning beautiful people, I believe we are all doing great today. I assure you that today is going to be more beautiful than yesterday was. So put on all the energy, enthusiasm, optimism and of course confidence that you need for today’s activities.

But first, let’s talk about self confidence briefly. This is something that most people lack. They don’t believe in themselves and in their abilities even when they are loaded. They feel too shy and timid when they should not be. And most times, this is detrimental.

Everyone of us is shy to some extent. Its only a mad person that doesn’t get shy at all. But when this shyness is extreme, its a problem. It boils down to low self esteem and inferiority complex.

What are the things that make people grow up lacking confidence even when they are so beautiful, intelligent etc.

The major factor being this is upbringing… Yes, the way parents train their kid go a long way to make them have self confidence or lack it. But I think parents and parents should strive to see that their kids have a balanced level of self confidence because it makes them better adults and indviduals to the society.

I have never heard that anyone was given a brochure on how to train their kids during the wedding ceremony. Its just a natural thing for humans to be able to nurture our off springs and that’s one of the clear difference between us and other mammals. We should therefore make sure we bring up our kids in a way that they are confident, content with who they are and happy about their lives.

We should all make this our main duty as parents or would be parents. Its better to invest your time training your kids the right and best way so that they end up as good kids… Than being too busy for them and then they grow up being a menace to you and the society and you now spend your retirement age trying to correct errors done years ago.

For a child to grow up into an adult who exudes self confidence, it starts with his or her parents showing them love. A child who was always cuddled, given fond pet names, was sang to sleep (lullaby) will grow up feeling loved and secured and that automatically instill self confidence in such a child.

I watch some mothers or even fathers do some things and I feel terribly bad. For example, when their child starts to cry (a child of not more than 3 years)… You will see them abandon and even beating up a crying child, saying things like “let him cry” when he is tired he will sleep!

This is very wrong and damages a child’s psychology. We think that because they have not started talking and we probably don’t understand them that they are obliovious of what’s happening.
I am sorry for you because children/babies understand a lot and absorb a lot. Its therefore very important that you speak loving words to your babies/children. Play with them, sing to them and blab with them… These help to build a stong bond between you and your children. It propagates confidence into that child. His body releases hormones that makes him feel safe.

You should learn to praise your kids, give them wonderful fond names, appreciate them, give them attention etc. You don’t know the impact of these minor things in the life of that child who will eventually grow up into an adult.
I often hear parents tell their kids “you are so ugly, who do you even look like?”
What do you think you are doing to this child? Its simply not fair. You are damaging this child and he will grow up thinking he is so damn ugly and be very shy in the midst of his friends.
I have met so many people like that! They think they are not good because they have heard it so many times while growing up.
Please we should be mindful of these things.

In some homes, children will not laugh, they will not play… And these are the ones who grow up into weird and strange adults. How will laughter be an offence in a home? Is that home a cemetary or a mortuary?

This post is meant to be brief and I would love to stop here. But I promise to give you a more detailed one soon.
But the message is simple… We as parents or parents to be play a very vital role in bringing up confident people into the society. Its better to instill confidence because its very hard to restore a lost confidence.

Children, that will eventually grow into adults, need affection. They need to know that someone loves them enough to give them time, cuddles, attention. Kids will be more confident in themselves if their parents actually seem to enjoy their company. If their parents make time to play with them and amuse them rather than sending them in to watch TV or play with their toys, they will have higher self esteem.

Create a happy safe family environment in your home where everyone, regardless of age, is respected and admired.

This is very important! I grew up in a home where we all act like siblings. If you hear me talk to my father on the phone, you may think I am talking to my brother or a friend. Growing up, sometimes we have dancing competition in my house, everyone will dance and yab (tease) one another, not minding who is the dad or mum. We all have nicknames… Dad has, mum had , I have and all my siblings too.

I grew up hearing all sorts of positive words from my parents to me. Things like, my beautiful daughter, my pride etc. And when my dad sees a very beautiful person on TV he would say, “Nne, she looks like you, but you are prettier” lol…

All these contributed immensely to shaping me into a very confident young woman. I got and still get so much love from them.

Parents should please love their kids and appreciate them. Tell them positive things. It doesn’t mean you should not reprimand them when they do something wrong. But stop abusing them psychologically, its damaging to them and the society because individuals make up a society.

Please let me stop here today…
Do have a wonderful wednesday.

Be Enlightened! Be Inspired!! Be Motivated!!!

MARILYN ANONA writes: Do you still want to give up? I bet you don’t! At least not after reminding you that Rome wasn’t built in a day.

Some issues will seem over flogged because it seems like everyone is talking about them. It seems like that is all you hear on daily basis… That may be true! But some issues have to be over flogged because our existence on earth or the life we live revolves around these issues.

Some times, you may feel like there is nothing worth living for. You feel so unlucky. You feel left behind. You look around and it seems like everyone is doing better than you. You feel sad because you think or you know you deserve a lot better. You put in all efforts yet nothing is working, instead where you were yesterday is better than where you are today. You just don’t know what else to do and the most convenient thing to do is to give up.

I totally understand you and its natural to feel this way. Every one of us has passed through one dark stage or the other but the degree differs and it is relative too because what is a dark stage to A may not be a dark stage to B. But we all have that time when we are in despair. We just feel so bad that some may opt to give up. This explains why some people resort to SUICIDE.

But when you decide to give up because of situations or circumstances, does the world HALT for you? When you give up, who is at loss?

If you think that by giving up, your life gets better then you are a joker because the truth of the matter is, some people are actually waiting for you to give up and your giving up will make them happy not because it adds anything to their life but because they don’t love competition, they want to be the one eyed men in the city of the blind… So when people fail, they are happy!

If you have this thought at the back of your mind, then you will never think of giving up. You will not let any hurdle you couldn’t scale through deter you. You will not allow a heartbreak define your life. You will not commit suicide because you were expelled in your final year at the university. You will not give up because you lost your job or you don’t have a job etc.

Having noted this… Read further and you will see more reasons why you should not give up.

1. We should be more realistic and wider in our thinking. We should not always expect the favourable situations. We should not expect life to be like a movie script. But hey come to think of it, there are even sad movies, they are called tragedy. Yes we have tragedy just like we have comedy. So we should always remember that there are 2 sides to every thing in life. That’s why even roses have thorns.

2. We should always remember TIME in what ever we are doing. We all have our time! Being born the same year with your class mates doesn’t mean you are all going to succeed same time, nope! Some make it at 28 and before 45 they are back to square 1. While some made it at 45 and sustained it for life and even after death. We all have our time. My dad’s country home for example was the best in the entire village for some time. But right now, if you are asked to count beautiful houses in my village, it won’t be counted. But he was celebrated at that time. But some of his age mates and people who are even older or younger are celebrated now. We all have our time. So why do you want to give up?

3. I have always warned you against comparison. Most times, comparison isn’t healthy. It makes you depressed when you discover you are less. It brings untold envy and jealousy. It leads you astray, because you start doing just anything to meet up. But let me ask you… When you compare, on what basis do you do that? It means you see yourself as just anyone. You don’t know you are unique that’s why you measure your success based on what Mr A has. Why not just focus on your life… Have an ambition and a goal! That way you are more relaxed and focused.

4. Again, I keep telling you that you are not alone. Nobody’s life is perfect. The ones who you think have it easier may have it worse. The ones who you see enjoying wealth today had a time when they could hardly feed. So stop feeling unlucky. There is a time for tilling the land before you sow your seed and wait for harvest. Now, some people’s lands are harder and therefore more difficult to till… Even when we have all succeeded in sowing, we don’t all have equal harvest not minding that we all planted in same town with same weather conditions and etc.
This can be exactly likened to life itself. Okeke may have a poor harvest this year. While Afolayan has the best! Next year Okeke might have the best. See life that way.

5. Ever heard of the 11th hour? A lot of unexpected turn around happen at the 11th hour and unfortunately most give up before then. It might be the next minute, next month, next year but you got so frustrated with life and couldn’t wait. Please let’s wait a bit.

Do you still want to give up? I bet you don’t! At least not after reminding you that Rome wasn’t built in a day.
See sweetheart, success is hard to sustain if it comes easily.
Many may have written you off, insulted you, rejected you etc so its time for you to prove to them that you are not a failure…

So stand up, clean off those tears and try again.

This is all I have for you today. I hope that these little words of mine have helped someone today.

Please be kind enough and pass this post on. You might be saving a life.

Do have a beautiful Tuesday.

Be Enlightened! Be Inspired!! Be Motivated!!!

MARILYN ANONA writes: INSPIRATION is internal, MOTIVATION is external.

Marilyn Oma Anona

Marilyn Oma Anona


I have been meaning to write about this for sometime now, but it keeps skipping my mind. But I am writing it today.

By the way, how was your weekend? Mine was peaceful. And I am very charged and ready for this week with a multiplied amount of enthusiasm and optimism.

There are things that matter so much that we often neglect. We don’t consider them as very important but they are. And that the reason why I am writing on this subject today.

I am talking this morning about words which have become household words because we are so used to them. I am talking about words that we all hear on daily basis. I am talking about INSPIRATION and MOTIVATION…

Okay! What is it about INSPIRATION and MOTIVATION this morning?

Well, I am not writing to give you motivational tips or to inspire you, I am writing because I have discovered that a lot of people use these words as though they are synonyms. But these 2 words are not synonyms… They mean 2 different things!

INSPIRATION is totally different from MOTIVATION…
Now what is motivation? And what is inspiration?

Let’s take the definition from the dictionary and I know we all have one. If you don’t have a hard copy, you have your gadgets so you can check them on the internet.

INSPIRATION means:
1. The process of being mentally stimulated to do or feel something, especially to do something creative.
2. The quality of being inspired, especially when evident in something.
3. A person or thing that inspires
a sudden brilliant, creative, or timely idea
the divine influence believed to have led to the writing of the Bible
There are many more definitions but for the purpose of this article, these 3 will do.

MOTIVATION means:
1. The reason or reasons one has for acting or behaving in a particular way.
2. The general desire or willingness of someone to do something.
3. To drive or force or persuade one to do something.
And lots more.

From the definitions I gave above, I know you can make out the difference yourself. Inspiration and motivation come from two different places.

Inspiration, comes from within you most of the time… The word inspiration means to be in the spirit. Inspiration is closely knitted with passion. Its often natural, no stress involved because it flows naturally from a source.

Motivation on the other hand comes from external factors, its about psyching one up, its about using money, force, or attractive measures which are physical to get one to do something because they should or because it is something that will help them in the long run.

You get the difference now?
Inspiration comes from within, motivation comes from outside… Motivation is a good thing , very good but it is not a passionate, burning desire that emanates from the core of our being.

INSPIRATION is one’s divine calling, Its one’s talent, gift and passion, its one’s connection with his true self and potentials.

MOTIVATION is about the things you should do or you are supposed to do.

When you are inspired,
1. Life seems effortless.
2. Your zeal and passion don’t wane because of unfavourable results or conditions.
3. You are constantly full of energy and optimism.
4. You are confident and see beyond the present.
5. You feel satisfied at your ability whether you are acknowledged or not because it comes from your inner man.
6. You don’t follow trend, you don’t follow the crowd because their is something you see which others may not see.

When you are motivated,
1. You have to always be psyched, preached to, encouraged and rewarded to be able to go on because motivation wanes off.
2. You do not know your core values, you are not aligned with them so its easy to be pushed around or find yourself not knowing what to do.
3. Its easy for you to get corrupt because its external and it means anything can make you act. If money is your motivation for example, you do the unimaginable once given a huge sum. (Motivation isn’t always positive).

Now, someone is asking… ” How do I get inspired?”

Well, for you to be inspired, you have to search for who you are and DISCOVER YOURSELF because inspiration isn’t external, its internal.

INSPIRATION is tied to self discovery. You have to search yourself, to actually know who you are… That’s the only way to truly stayed inspired. You have to know what your core values are, that’s a step towards SELF DISCOVERY which gives us all the inspiration we need.

I didn’t mean for this to be too lengthy but sometimes, in a bid to make things clearer we have to go on and on…
I hope that I have been able to clearly distinguish the 2 words…
I hope that by now, all of us now know the difference between these 2 words…

INSPIRATION makes you… It makes you anticipate… It brings fulfillment!

Its better to be inspired than to be motivated.
So discover who you are today in order to be inspired.

Be Enlightened! Be Inspired!! Be Motivated!!!