Archive | May 2014

MARILYN ANONA writes: That you are not in time doesn’t mean you won’t get there and even over take those who got there before you.

PoshMarilyn

PoshMarilyn


What a beautiful thing it is to have finished giving birth to your desired number of children before you get to 30 years. What a wonderful thing it is to have built a big house and have at least 3 choice cars in your garage… So juicy! Who doesn’t love that? I bet at least 90% of the people who are reading this love that. Yes, its not bad to wish to have accomplished all these. Its a good thing to be on time. But my word for you today is to encourage you. That you are not in time doesn’t mean you won’t get there and even over take those who got there before you.

Let me share an example with you. My father was the first man who built a big upstairs in my village…Not my hometown, but my village in my hometown. He built that house when he was under 30 years old. He was celebrated and many would have felt very bad at that time thinking that they are left behind already. But some other person may have built his own house at 40 years and at that time, there is no way you can compare a modern house to an old house. And you know what, my dad’s house in the village is not the best house anymore even though its still known as the first. So why do you want to end your life now simply because some things have not fallen into place? Why not take it easy on yourself?

Have you for a second thought that maybe those things you are waiting for are taking a little more time to come because they are going to be the best when they eventually come? Now, let’s liken it to a house that is about to be built. The time taken to build a high rise or a skyscraper is not the same as the time needed to build a bungalow. Their foundation are not the same to start with, just like the time and the materials, needed to build them too. The bungalow gets completed and the owner moves in while the person who is building the skyscraper takes a much longer time to complete his. Now, can you compare the benefits of having a skyscraper to a bungalow? They are simply incomparable. Let me give you another example… We all know the Tomato plant, the maize plant etc. These plants do not take time to grow and bear fruits unlike the mango, cocoa etc.

But the same speed with which the tomato grows and bears fruits is the same way with which it wanes and dies off. The mango tree, cocoa etc take a longer time but lasts almost forever. A child can cut down a Tomato or Maize plant but it takes more strength and effort to cut down a plant like Mango. Is someone getting where I am driving at? I could also give you another illustration using the evapourated milk and the condensed milk. Are they the same? Nope!!! The processes involved in making the condensed milk are more rigourous than the evapourated milk and we also know that the condensed milk is a lot better.

So when you are passing through moments of hardship, delay and stagnancy despite how hard you are trying, working and praying. Why don’t you follow this thought pattern? Why do you think you are dead all ready instead of seeing the many hurdles and a step or process to something more lasting. Don’t get the message twisted but I have realized that a lot of people have lost their lives because of what the society thinks or expects of you. You go all frustrated and do things that will make your life miserable. I am simply telling you to hold on and do the right things and in the end you will realize why some things took a long time to come. Don’t allow yourself get frustrated….

When you rush out at a time you are not supposed to, you will rush in the same way you rushed out and that is the reason why people mess up in marriages. That’s why divorce is almost like an anthem. Be patient and be sure you are also doing the right thing. I want to ask you a question… DO YOU WANT TO BE A TOMATO PLANT OR A COCOA PLANT? DO YOU WANT TO BE A MAIZE PLANT OR A MANGO PLANT? I know what you will prefer to be and if its what I think then be patient, steadfast and persevere!

Remain passionate and enthusiastic. I have never seen anyone resting under a tomato plant its not even possible. But many rest under the mango tree and it lives much longer.

BE ENLIGHTENED! BE INSPIRED!! BE MOTIVATED!!!

I am specially grateful to one of my mentors whose teachings have touched me this past few weeks… Pastor Abide Jonas,of WISDOM POWER MINISTRIES, ABUJA… GOD bless you sir.

MARILYN ANONA writes: Without enthusiasm, you are sure to remain in that bad state for long.

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You lost your job… Your relationship is broken… You are broke… You are still very dependent on your family… Infact nothing is working!!! These are the usual lamentations people do. They go on lamenting and complaining. They feel their lives are over. They just go about life without zeal, enthusiasm or hope. Please DON’T DIE BEFORE YOU ARE DEAD!

No matter what you have passed through in life or what you are currently passing through, without enthusiasm, you are sure to remain in that bad state for long. And it means you are hurting yourself the more. There are many benefits in being enthusiastic. It makes you positive ie you look on the brighter side of life and still expect the best no matter what is on ground. Being enthusiastic, gives you the confidence you need to go on with life. Enthusiasm also brings about productivity. When you are positive, you are confident, when you are confident, you act and action brings about productivity.

To become ENTHUSIASTIC after a fall, demotion, problem or failure can be very tasking for most people but if you love your self, you can’t afford to do without enthusiasm. I will give you few tips on how to build back your enthusiasm.

DON’T DWELL ON THE PAST.
Yes! Please forget that ugly experience. Let it go! Erase them entirely from your mind. What use is it for instance to always brood about the job you lost when you know you can’t have that same job back? Concentrating on it will only rob you of the one in front of you. And because you are all over the place complaining about the former job, you will remain in that stagnant point for a long time. While the organization that sacked you has not stopped working for one day! Please dust off the past and get going!

RECALL YOUR BEST MOMENTS.
These are moments when you experienced great joy, accomplishment, success or what ever it is that transformed you in the positive direction. It could be that time when you had the best grade in an exam. Yes! It may be as little as that time when you were congratulated for being the best cook. It could be your wedding day. It could be anything. Just remember those times… Smile to yourself and know that if such times existed, there will always be more of those times. A bad day doesn’t mean a bad life… Stand up and keep moving.

BE FOCUSED ON SOMETHING AND HAVE GOALS AND HOW TO ACHIEVE THEM.
At this time when you have experienced some major set back, there is this temptation for some people to just rush into anything because you don’t want to be left behind. We want to do this and do that just to be busy. But when you are running about the whole place just for the sake of being busy, not to be laughed at for being idle or to make small money, it means you have not really sat down to think and it means you have not yet discovered who you really are. After a major set back, its best to sit down, think thoroughly… Think through! Check and properly analyze yourself. If its a relationship you lost, think about how you contributed to spoiling your own relationship and how to go about your next relationship. When people are heart broken, sometimes in order not to be laughed at or because they are ashamed of being alone, they quickly enter into a more harmful relationship. The same mistake will soon happen again. So please become focused and set goals… Don’t be all over the place.

ALWAYS SORROUND YOUR SELF WITH THINGS AND PEOPLE THAT MAKE YOU HAPPY.
Yes, this is a must do if you want to become more enthusiastic. You certainly don’t need sad or miserable people around you. Happy people and the things that make you happy will go a long way to help you get your groove back.

STOP TRYING TO HELP EVERYONE WHO NEEDS HELP. The truth is, you can’t help the entire world. And at this time, you really have to help yourself before you start looking for people to help. Focus on one thing at a time and that is you. Find your feet before you start helping others find theirs. Its not selfishness, its wisdom.
FIND OUT WHAT THE PROBLEM IS AND FACE IT. One of the best ways to face or deal with our problems, is to first of all know what the problem is. It may not be your fault that you lost your job. It may also be your fault. It may not be your fault that your relationship failed. It could also be your fault. A client called me on the phone for counselling. She complained and complained about failed relationships. She told me she has never had a good or proper relationship all her life. She is always rejected. I asked for her pictures and she wasn’t bad looking. I asked her a lot of questions to be able to deduce one or two things, She gave good answers. I asked her if she will be in Abuja anytime soon, she said yes she was coming to Abuja over the weekend. And the next Monday, we had a meeting. Even before speaking to her, I knew the problem. And I told her immediately the reason why she has been in pains and its best for her to tackle it. That no man will see this “hour glass” figure with this big issue.

YOUR ROLE MODELS.
Having role models is a sure way to succeed. It means you have people who you look up to. It means you have people who you emulate. It doesn’t mean you are making them GOD. Most times, the religious folks will say GOD is their role model. If that is true them emulate HIM. My point is, let there be someone who inspires you.

STAY AWAY FROM THE NEGATIVE.

Anyone who is a professor in the art of discouragement should not be found around you. Simple and short!!!

BOOST YOUR HEALTH AND ENERGY.
Eat right and exercise.
Enthusiasm is a very vital tool for success and a good life. You go about life with excitement and passion. Do not let a set back define you. Be evolving, be patient, get enlightened, be motivated, be positive and you will surely get there.

BE ENLIGHTENED! BE INSPIRED!! BE MOTIVATED!!!
Call in for your counselling, coaching and public speaking.

GENDER DOES NOT MAKE YOU…

The test for whether or not you can do a job or capable of handling a position should not be determined by the nature of our chromosones… Having the homogenous Chromosone does not make you less capable and having the Heterogenous Chromosones does not make you capable…

MARILYN ANONA writes: No one prays to lose their husband… But if it happens, what will you do? (WIDOWS)

PoshMarilyn

PoshMarilyn


Its a very terrible experience losing someone very close and dear to you. Losing a mum, a brother, sister, husband, wife, close friend etc is not an easy thing to deal with. I lost my mum a year ago and till this time, I still cry and cry when I remember all the time we spent together and the thought that I will never see her again is so hard to bear. The death of a loved one Is one of the hardest blow life can give you.
Have you ever thought of a young woman of say 20 years old, who got married and then after a kid or two, her husband dies! Have you thought about a young man of 28 years old who got married and at 30 years his wife dies… Death is painful and death is death but if I am asked to grade, I would say this is one of the hardest things in life. The trauma is huge and except for the grace of GOD! It takes a long time to get over. Nobody will ever wish to be in the shoes of a young widow or widower. Its a terrible experience.
I want to talk about the widows today. The widows in our society especially the young widows and those who already have so many kids with their husbands and cannot remarry as a result. For the young ones who are still very young and can remarry, its just a phase. But during that time a lot happens. Anyone who pretends not to know that widows in Nigeria really go through hell is evil.
Its bad enough that you lost your husband and then the family members won’t let you have peace! They make it seem from their actions even if they don’t say it that you are a bad omen, you killed their son or their son died because he is married to you. They don’t think the other way round… They don’t think the woman may also feel that if she had not married their son, she would not have been in these shoes! Well, human beings are always towing the path of convenience.
The man who you have dreams with just left suddenly without a notice. Could be an auto crash or armed robbers taking his life away without giving you the chance to at least tell him sorry, hold his hand and say good bye… Then his family members who should be your backbone start treating you harshly. Something they will not do if your husband was around. This change is so hard to understand and even harder to deal with.
You wonder why it should be you. “Why me? Why me?,” you lament and cry every night with confusion and despair on the bed that once brought you bliss and hope.  You fight with reality and wish it’s all a dream. But it never seems to go away.  It’s real.  It’s your reality, an unpleasant, heart wrecking reality…
When the burial day comes, all sorts of drama start! She must cut her hair to “Sankodo or gorimakpa or mala”. She must carry Sand and put in the grave as a sign that she doesn’t have a hand in her husband’s death. Kai! I even learnt that in some culture, the woman would clean the dead body and made to drink the water… What kind of thing is this?
When the burial is over, the main issue arises… The man’s family will want to dispossess the woman of everything. This is a woman who was properly married (traditionally and in the church). This woman has kids already for the man before he passed and we all know that in such cases, there is hardly a will. So how does this woman raise the kid or kids as the case may be? She is left to fend for them alone while her husband’s people take everything her husband had before he suddenly passed. What a shame!
In most Nigerian communities, widowhood represents a “social death” for women. It is not merely that they lose their husbands often the main breadwinner and supporter of their children… but widowhood denies them of their status and remit them to the very margins of society where they suffer the most extreme forms of discrimination, stigma and deprivation. And I ask, does anyone ever wish to be a widow? A young woman who isn’t up to 30years old called me yesterday and told me a little of what she passed through and is still passing through. Her husband passed like 4years ago… She had 2 kids already with him. She wasn’t working at the time and he suddenly died. Her husbands people took everything and she had to go back home to her parents house with her kids. Since the man died and till now. They have not bothered to ask about their son’s kids. She has started working now and is now fending for these kids all alone. She is a really strong woman now and I am glad she picked up.
Another young woman who is called Ifeoma shared her experience with me… her husband’s people said she killed him.  She was forced to drink the bath water from the corpse to prove her innocence.  She was forced to shave her hair entirely and wear black mourning clothe for a month during which time she was locked indoors.  “I was made to sit naked on the floor for a week without bath with the corpse,” she said, amidst.  “I was humiliated.  I was disgraced,” she said! Very heart breaking.
Its a man’s world! Nobody accuses a man when his wife dies, but when its a man who dies, the woman is accused! It should not be so.
That is why I always talk about a woman being empowered. A woman making sure that she is fully independent even in marriage. Getting married isn’t a passport to relax entirely. Getting married isn’t all about forgetting yourself and making gossiping from one neighbour’s house to the other your career.
No one prays to lose their husband… But if it happens, what will you do? How will you cope if you are so unfortunate to have bad in laws and you have nothing to boast of as a person? Will you be that widow who will die as soon as your husband dies making you kids orphans? Will you be that widow who will resort to prostitution to be able to make ends meet? Or will you be that one who will stand tall and firm no matter the situation and fit into her husband’s shoes so that when he looks from his grave he will be happy?
For the very young widows, widowhood should not be a status especially when you don’t have many kids. You can marry again and have a new life. For the older widows, GOD will give you the grace to function as a father and a mother to your kids.
Women, let’s be useful to ourselves… If you are married and your husband is well to do… Let him start up a business or something for you. Don’t just fold your arms and become a full time “ORI AKU”. Even if he is not well to do, don’t fold your arms still! Look for something to do…
Be Useful! Be Empowered
Be Enlightened! Be Inspired!! Be Motivated!!!
Remember, you can talk to us on 08056293964. Send us emails too.

MARILYN ANONA writes: He forced his way into my innocence. ( A POEM ON RAPE)

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PM


RAPE.
This poem is a reflection of someone’s past. It is a true story that happened to her as a child. She will never forget this and she hopes you won’t too. Because it is to help and to prevent this from happening to others.I still remember the dark dirty floor
of the backyard.
The pain as every piece of clothing I had on
was getting torn off in fast motions.
The hand covering my
mouth as I screamed for someone to help me.
The help never came.

As I screamed with the sweaty hand over my mouth
I thought that this was it,
I was going to die.
I was only 16 years old,
all my hopes and dreams were over,
nothing pursued.

The pain was something I’d never felt before,
it wasn’t a cut nor a scrap.
This pain would never go away or heal.
Then as if time stood still
I lay there thinking what my parents would think
when I told them what had happened.
I tried so hard to get myself to safety,
but I was weak every move I made
felt like the world was crashing down on me.

When really it was a 30 year old man crushing me
as he forced his way into my innocence.
Taking away every purity I had
and leaving me with pain and suffering.

At that moment I prayed that I would die.
For to live a life with this pain and wound that would never heal was
unbearable.
As I stopped screaming I thought I had died.
The pain was still there but I felt a light shine on me.
As I looked up I realized the torture was over he had fled
the back yard and went back into his house.
I lay there naked in my own blood trying to figure out why this all
happened, and why it had happened to me.

To this day there isn’t a moment that goes by that I
don’t think about that day in the backyard.
The pain and suffering still lurks in my head as I dream at night.
It isn’t forgotten and never will be,
for that is how I learn and grow.
Sharing and preventing is something I strive for.

No one should feel that way.
No one should cause that pain.
For that pain lasts a life time. HEALTH.
When life becomes a sea of pain.
When life becomes a sea of pain
And every moment agony
I must endure again, again,
It is a curse to have to be.

And every moment agony,
And every longing fixed on death;
It is a curse to have to be
And fight by instinct for each breath.

And every longing fixed on death
Even as I must go on
And fight by instinct for each breath,
Sailing thus, though loved, alone.

Even as I must go on,
You watch me helpless from the shore;
Sailing thus, though loved, alone,
I need you with me all the more.

You watch me helpless from the shore
As I endure again, again;
I need you with me all the more
When life becomes a sea of pain.

Rape has become a very serious and nagging issue in our society today. You flip through the pages of our news papers and read heart breaking stories of old men raping or taking advantage of girls as young as two years. This is madness of the highest order. Some of these victims of rape cannot talk to anyone and they have this experience killing them within. I met a girl with a weird behaviour and I was always observing her. I asked her what the issue was and why she acts the way she does. She eventually told me how she was raped three years ago. I asked her if she reported to anyone and she said NO. So many are in this shoe. The effect of rape on a victim is terrible. I urge you to please talk to us today.
I always say to the girls, please mind the kind of company you keep, the way you dress and do not go out late in the night. For the people who can’t do without raping, you need to seek therapy because its evident that something is wrong.
Please reach us on 08056293964.
Follow on Twitter @poshmarilyn.
You can send in Personal messages and emails too.
BE ENLIGHTENED! BE INSPIRED!! BE MOTIVATED!!!

MARILYN ANONA writes: Why are you bleeding when you are not on your period?

A woman’s body is so complex that we don’t have to neglect or ignore some of the things we see. Sometimes, we compound issues due to sheer carelessness. We assume that something abnormal is so normal simply because it doesn’t hurt. We just don’t voice out sometimes because we are scared of hearing things. Most women are ill! Yes, they have a lot going on in their bodies but we all come out wearing beautiful clothes and well made up faces. But remember, HEALTH IS WEALTH!!! Today, I want to talk about vaginal bleeding. Yes! Bleeding when you are not on your period. Bleeding one week or two weeks after your period. Most of us call it spotting! But its still bleeding. Why are you bleeding when you are not on your period? Your period is not expected for weeks but you find that you are spotting or bleeding.  It is a normal reaction to worry.  What could this mean? . There are many reasons why this can happen. Some of the reasons are not so serious. While some of them are so serious but I urge you to see a seasoned gynecologist when you experience this instead of just sitting at home and assuming. When you see a professional, you can now be sure what you are dealing with. I want you to know some of the possible causes of spotting or bleeding when you are not on your period. 1. USE OF BIRTH CONTROL PILLS. 2. A CUT OR INJURY IN THE VAGINA. 3. HYPOTHYRIODISM. 4. KIDNEY OR LIVER DISORDER. 5. CERVICAL POLYP. 6. CERVICAL CANCER. 7. FIBROID. 8. ECTOPIC PREGNANCY. 9. OBESITY. 10. HORMONAL IMBALANCE. 11. INFECTIONS. There are many more causes of bleeding or spotting when you are not on your period. The ones I listed are just few of them. Please don’t panic at the first sight of bleeding between periods though, to assume it is cancer. But do take spotting in between periods seriously enough to check it out with your doctor. Even if you are pregnant and experiencing this, please see your doctor still. Please avoid guessing and assumptions! You need to see a doctor. Be Enlightened! Be Inspired!! Be Motivated!!!
  

JOB OPPORTUNITIES AT GOLDSPOT GROUP LIMITED, ABUJA.

A reputable group of companies(Goldspot Group LTD) based in Abuja is interested to employing the services of: 1. Accountant with ICAN. 2. An IT Engineer with all the requisite certificates. 3 . Business management/ public administration / marketing with oil & gas experience to work with the oil & gas dept. 4 . A secretary with IT experience and must be fluent in English and able to write minutes & develop business memos. Interested applicants should send their Curriculum Vitae to info@goldspotgroup.com.ng and/or okey.ndukwe@goldspotgroup.com.ng. call 08056293964 for enquiries.