Its another Saturday! Basically, Saturday is a day for relaxation after the hectic 5 working days. But in Nigeria and most parts of the world, most white weddings (church weddings) are done on Saturdays. Its almost like a tradition. I am yet to see a Saturday that people don’t wed. Sometimes, I see Personal messages on some friends’ blackberry like “its another Saturday and I am still not married” or “we will never run out of Saturdays”. Friends wed every Saturday and some friends languish in despair. Relax dear, your time is coming! Its not a race. Marriage is a beautiful thing. I love marriage because from day one, I have always believed in long term relationships. And Marriage is a typical example. But what we see these days make marriage appear uninteresting and scary. That is because most people do not really understand what marriage is all about before dabbling into it. They rush in and rush out or they rush in, and commit all sorts of sins that are against the marital oaths they took. People are more concerned about change of status or title rather than the full importance of marriage. People rush in because they are afraid to be tagged single. They get married knowing full well that they don’t want to be with the person for a second but they console themselves with “LOVE GROWS”. I for one person do not understand the phrase “LOVE GROWS”. If love actually does grow, then its for those who already feel it or have it going. How do you tell me something that is totally absent will grow? There must be a seed for a full grown plant to manifest. Again, you hear some churches preach some kind of messages that help to make nonsense of MARRIAGE. I will not mention the name of the church but its one of these pentecostal churches. The pastor was saying vehemently that “MARRIAGE SHOULD BE ENJOYED NOT ENDURED” and went on to say that any ugly situation you experience in marriage means you are married to the wrong person. Huh, I was even more irritated with the congregation screaming “yes o”. My goodness, how can that be? Is anything ever smooth all the way? Where is that teaching from? For me, its from the pit of hell! Yes, the congregation were screaming happily because that is the type of preaching we love to hear. Have we forgotten that even roses have thorns. Once you are living, you should expect anything. But as Christians and people who have faith, we pray and hope for the best. In marriage also, we can’t have it rosy all the way and that’s where endurance comes in. So a pastor saying MARRIAGE should be enjoyed not endured is in other words telling us that once we encounter any challenge in the course of marriage, we should call it quits, start seeing our spouse as the wrong one or what? Please preachers should mind what they say when they are up there preaching. I beg! I was having a conversation with Suzie yesterday evening. She told me about a wedding she attended in Suleja where the officiating pastor instead of saying the usual “for better and for worse” during the oath taking, he was saying “for better and for better”, for richer and for richer” Na wah o! Where is this from? So Marriage is just for the fair and happy weather? My message is for the single and soon to be married people. Maybe, GOD intentionally kept you this long for you to get more mature mentally to be to handle a lot of things that come with life. I could say that for myself. So don’t despair. What you know today, I am sure you didn’t some months or years back. So there is a reason and that’s to make you better. You must understand that marriage is not an escape mission or an insurance policy. Its not all about the change of name or the wedding. Its about you and your future. Once you get into marriage with someone who you know within you that you don’t want to be with all your life, you have reduced your own lifespan. Its not about money! When getting married, LOVE is the ultimate, because that is what keeps you going even when things get rough and tough. Love makes you stay by your wife if you are unfortunate not to have kids several years after marriage. Love makes you stay by your husband when he is having some financial challenges. You stick by him and hustle with him, share with him to make ends meet. Love is what keeps people together for so long. People say respect is the most important! I totally disagree. You can’t respect something you don’t treasure or have regards for. With love, respect comes naturally. So the main thing is love. It keeps you going. Its Saturday again, don’t despair because you don’t know when your wedding is coming up. Be sure that at that right time, you are getting married to someone you can live with and cannot live without. Be sure that you are getting married to your best friend, so that you don’t live under the same roof with an enemy you call a wife or husband. Marriage doesn’t make people better. It cannot make a man who doesn’t or never loved you to all of a sudden love you. Even when you have kids for him, he loves his kids not you. I have met so many women, young beautiful women in this type of situation. Probably their husbands married them solely for child bearing. That is not what you want, is it? Let’s know the full essence of getting married before dabbling into it. Personally, divorce and cheating (all manners of unfaithfulness) are not for me! So my husband and I will complement each other. He will be my best friend! We will do everything together! We will be transparent to each other! We will grow old together! And when one dies before the other, the one remaining will say “Since he or she left this world, my life has not been the same”. That is the kind of marriage that we should all pray for. To achieve this, LOVE must be present and then you must know that no human being is flawless. Have a beautiful Saturday. Be Enlightened! Be Inspired!! Be Motivated!!!
MARILYN ANONA writes: And when one dies before the other, the one remaining will say “Since he or she left this world, my life has not been the same”.