When its love, you lose all your defenses. When its love, you are vulnerable. When its love, you will find yourself doing things you never imagined you will do for anyone, and you do those things with ease. For example, me wash for a man? They never born that man but now u wash a basket of clothes without knowing it. You break those standards without knowing it and yet feel good about it. I can’t date anyone who isn’t from Anambra, Delta or Imo, Now your partner or even your wife is from kwara or Nasarawa and you are ready to fight with anyone who condemns her place of origin. You now find yourself liking everyone from the same place as the person you are in love with. My dear, all that boasting and bragging is because you have not seen love… So leave matter for Mattias. Love is a very strong thing and the best thing that can happen to anyone. If you have never loved, it means you have not started living. If you don’t believe in love, then that’s so sad. I just want to talk about the issue of tribalism in love or romantic relationships. Our country is a multi ethnic one. So many tribes and too many languages. But the three major tribes in Nigeria are HAUSA, IGBO and YORUBA. And most Nigerians do not live in their home states as we all rush to big cities like Abuja and Lagos where we mix up with one another irrespective of tribe and religion. So the chances of making friends and even falling in love with someone from another tribe becomes high. I used to be so guilty of this topic I am discussing now. There was a time when if a guy comes to woo me and I find out he is not IGBO, I will get cold immediately and tell him instantly that it won’t work. Mine was worse, even if you are IGBO and not from Anambra state, there is nothing for you. But the moment I meet a guy and he says his name is Obinna or Ikechukwu and he is from Anambra state, my heart opens and that’s it, very pathetic! Most times, we limit our selves and make wrong choices because of issues like this. We just accept those people because we are from the same tribe and we don’t bother to know if the relationship is right or not and If we are compatible or not. I have heard of many relationships that could not succeed because of tribalism and tribal differences. My friend Fareeda, an Idoma lady was telling me how she lost a man she loved so much because she isn’t IGBO. The guy’s family didn’t accept her and the guy obviously doesn’t have a mind of his own. How painful! You nurse a relationship, then tribe becomes a barrier. Another friend of mine had a similar problem. I observed that she no longer uses her man’s pictures as her display picture (DP) on her blackberry like she used to. So one day I asked her about the guy and she started telling me annoying stories of how the guy’s parents said their son will never marry a woman from Imo state, that he should look for a woman from Anambra state and get married. Hearts have been broken because of this issue. It has posed a lot of problems. Sometimes, the people in question may decide to do their thing whether their families are in support or not. But who is really happy with such squabble? I know that most people if not everyone would love to marry from home. But we should also know that love has no boundary and that the most important thing in a relationship is happiness and fulfillment. Most of us were brought up and given that orientation. In my family, everyone is from Anambra state, no one has ever gone outside the state, so because of that I should also marry from Anambra? No! Its not compulsory because that may not be my destiny…. Another person may not ever want to marry from a certain place because of an ugly experience. But we must know that whatever ugly experience we have had with someone who is not from our place of origin can still happen to us with someone from our place. In every sect, you find the good, the bad and the ugly! Its true that we feel safer when we are at home but we should know that the most important things are love and compatibility and when they are lacking, you can never be happy if you like marry from your backyard. When two people are in love, tribe should not be a barrier. It shouldn’t stop them from getting married. Inter tribal marriages promote peace and unity. For these two people to succeed together, they must have respect for each other’s tribe and not feel one’s tribe is superior than the other or that they are doing the person a favour. For me, I thank GOD for exposure and experiences over this few years. Sincerely, I love my state of origin no doubt but the ultimate is love. And Love has no boundary. Tribe will never be a barrier as long as I love the man in question. And my family will never kick against it because I have never disappointed them all my life so they always believe I make good choices. Let’s not deny ourselves lifetime joy by limiting ourselves. None of us chose where to be born or where to originate from. We are all equal. There is no minor tribe even though some are called major because of their huge number. Let love rule and reign. We are all same! Be Enlightened! Be Inspired!! Be Motivated!!!
MARILYN ANONA writes: Sincerely, I love my state of origin no doubt but the ultimate is love and Love has no boundary.