MARILYN ANONA writes: Your man or woman wants to know you. Your vulnerabilities and everything. Those with low self esteem will want to appear like superman or batman or portray themselves as without emotions.

marilyn anona
marilyn anona

Superiority complex, feeling too big or seeing one’s self as the best isn’t good but inferiority complex and the opposite of all I listed are not better too. Inferiority complex or low self esteem is not good for you and it has an adverse effect on your relationship. And unfortunately, the effect of low self esteem or inferiority complex in a relationship further lowers your already low self esteem. First of all, low self esteem is highly unattractive. Women want men who are very confident and self assured. A man who is bold and doesn’t hide behind people. Personally, laid back men are a huge turn off. The truth is, men also want same thing in women. Confidence is beautiful. A woman who lacks confidence lacks charms. Low self esteem brings unnecessary stress in a relationship. You make a case out of everything your partner does. If he is friendly to the opposite sex, its a problem for you because you always feel unsafe. The feeling of inadequacy makes you suspicious at all times. When your partner suffers low self esteem, there is constant misunderstanding. Those who suffer from low self esteem find it hard to voice out what they feel because they are ashamed they will be laughed at. So they just assume their partner should turn to magicians and read their minds. This causes untold rifts in a relationship. Low self esteem makes you hide your true self from your partner. Come on! Your man or woman wants to know you. Your vulnerabilities and everything. Those with low self esteem will want to appear like superman or batman or portray themselves as without emotions. When your partner doesn’t know the real you, what sort of relationship is that? Now this is peculiar to women, women with low self esteem are usually high maintenance women who think that being too materialistic means that their value is high. And sincerely men don’t like high maintenance women and such women are hardly faithful in relationships. When their men don’t spend on them, they feel worthless and jump to another man. To them, once you can spend lots of money on them, it means they are valued. You have to love yourself to love others.
Though it is a bit of a cliche phrase, it’s true that in order to love someone else, you have to first love yourself. A relationship can easily crumble if you can’t first accept and love who you are. When someone has low self-esteem, they don’t feel as if they deserve to be treated well. If your partner is respectful and nice, you may find that you push such sentiments and actions away, which can make him/her feel unwanted. Low self-esteem influences your mood negatively. When you don’t see yourself in a positive light, those thoughts will definitely escape in your moods, emotions, and temper. If you hate who you are and how you look, you won’t be quite happy. And when you are not happy, your partner isn’t either. Low self-esteem definitely negatively impacts your sex and love life. If you are uncomfortable with yourself in the mirror, you won’t be comfortable stark naked in front of your boyfriend. And let’s face it, we all need it at some point in time. Intimacy is a factor in a healthy relationship. While it’s not a bad thing to have your partner randomly compliment you, it can become a problem when the compliments and praise are needed endlessly. This makes compliments and praise a lot less special and it puts a lot of pressure on your partner to continuously try to boost your self-esteem. People with low self esteem are poor at communication. They appear shy, introverted or reserved. That’s not a good thing. Can there be a good relationship without effective communication? Low self esteem is not a good thing. Some don’t even know they have that problem. They may even be the most beautiful on the street or the richest in the neighbourhood yet feel so inferior. You are very okay and you were created for a special someone. Don’t self defeat yourself. Accept yourself just as you are. Appreciate yourself because if you don’t, nobody will. Be Enlightened! Be Inspired!! Be Motivated!!!

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8 comments

  1. Yes!”….you have to love yourself to love others.”Another compelling article Ms.Posh. Right on track.I like this “You are very okay and you were created for a special someone. Don’t self defeat yourself”. Complex problem usually gets worse if you refuse to acknowledge the problem and tackle it.Nice one Oma.

  2. Posh you’ve made some valid points here. A woman/man who is constantly needing validation via compliments can kill the vibe in a relationship. I know a girl who takes a thousand pictures every single day and wants the boyfriend to compliment each one..everyday! Most times she wants him to be the one taking the pictures and when he’s too tired to, it becomes an excuse to argue and fight. To make matters worse the guy is not the type that likes taking pictures. I hope he reads this post, I’m sure it will put a lot into perspective.

  3. “You are very okay and you were created for a special someone don’t self defeat yourself” very true. Another nice article my dear keep it up.

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