MARILYN ANONA writes: There is no Alpha or Beta grading system in life. Success is relative and change is constant.

Image I thank GOD for blessing me with the spirit of. contentment. If there is something I don’t do,it is wishing to be in someone else’s shoes. I long for the good things in life no doubt, but I don’t ever use anyone as a yardstick or comparison because I don’t see life as a competition. I see it as a level ground for all to thrive. I see success as relative and I know that no one has a perfect or complete life. So I don’t at any point in my life wish to be like Miss Agatha because she drives a G wagon or wish to be like Mrs Ene because she lives in Maitama with her hubby and travels to at least 5 European countries every year for vacation. I don’t wsh to be in Miss Agatha’s or Mrs Eneh’s shoes but I wish to enjoy the comfort and luxury in life. I hope you get the difference? On Saturday, I did a broadcast message on my blackberry messenger. Here is the message ” Let’s debate oya. I have come again… Please can someone tell me why a lady will get married and start cheating under 4months, when u advise her she will say HER HUBBY DOESN’T HAVE MONEY SO SHE CAN’T AFFORD TO BE TATTERED. Now my question is, why get married when you can’t stay faithful? If you start cheating 4months after your wedding when will you stop? Women are fond of saying men cheat a lot. Me, from what I see on daily basis, I think women cheat more they are just good at concealing it. What do u think? “. That was the message. Of course I got lots of answers, for and against. But I was shocked when a certain young woman told me a shocking story about her marital life so far. I cried as a result of what she told me. I cried over and over not because I have never heard such stories but because I never imagined she was going through such a thing. She is a very beautiful woman that every man will like to have. She got married to a handsome man that most women would also love to have and GOD has blessed them with 3 kids. Her husband has a fruitful career and she appears to be a very blessed housewife. They live in a very big 3bedroom flat in one of the major cities in Nigeria and they have cars. So judging from outside, they are not doing badly at all and most people will see them as a match made in heaven. She contributed to the debate like most people did but I was angry with her because it seemed to me that she was taking sides with unfaithful women. Then she started telling me about herself. I was shocked when she told me her hubby sleeps with her house helps, impregnates women and does all sorts. She went on to tell me that the man doesn’t even buy her or her kids clothes that all he does is pay rent. He has refused her working or doing business but she hides to do a little bit of buying and selling and hides the things she sells from her hubby so that she won’t starve. The man goes as far as buying clothes for himself and hiding them inside his car booth so that she won’t know he has money. She told me all sorts of things that I had to even beg her to stop because the stories were too overwhelming. She told me a lot of things that I won’t even want to put down here. She ended it up by saying “sis, I hate to remember some things, when a woman does somethings you don’t have to judge or blame her, Marriage isn’t what it seems! Forget my smiles and happy face, they are just facade”. I advised her not to join her hubby in misbehaving. That she should put everything into prayers and draw close to GOD. Hmmmmm! I know that most of you already know where I am headed. Yes, most women wish to be in the lady’s shoes because they see her smile but they don’t know what she is passing through. Only the person who is wearing a shoe knows where it hurts. So many times, people come to me with their tales of woe, sadness and all sorts. Some people have openly told me they wish they are me just because they assume that my life is better than theirs. I get facebook messages from people saying they wish to be like me. I just laugh! If you are told to step into the shoes of that person you wish to be like, how sure are you that you can even take a healthy step in those shoes. Don’t let happy faces and appearances deceive you. Do not use anyone as a yardstick or comparison. Aspire to be great your own way. Set your goals and work towards them. Don’t depress yourself by always comparing yourself to people. You may be better than they are. And they may even be wishing to be like you. There is no Alpha or Beta grading system in life. Success is relative and change is constant. Be yourself!!! Be Enlightened! Be Inspired!! Be Motivated!!! 



  1. He that compareth himself to another is not wise. Man’s needs are insatiable and no matter how much a man is worth he always seeks for more. There is need to be content at whatever level one is but there’s nothing wrong with wanting better. However, just like the good book says comparison exposes one’s folly and like Posh pointed out, only the one wearing the shoes knows where it hurts. So be yourself, shikena!

  2. Awsome write up!!! Wow!!!,please marylyn include your blackberry pin or channel for me some of your readers who don’t have to be able to join thanks, may God keep blessing you with more increased wisdom,w love!

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