MARILYN ANONA writes: Would you tell your best friend to give up because she can’t possibly reach her goal? Or would you practice your finest motivational speech and help her see what you see in her potential?

marilyn anona
marilyn anona

And he said “Posh, truly I am tired of trying”… What a statement! I could feel frustration and pain in between the words in that sentence. But I asked him a question. My dear, will the world stop moving because you are tired of trying? So now that you are tired of trying, will you just sit down and watch things happen around you without moving? So it means you have accepted failure? I know and understand that most of us have gone true hell in the struggle for survival. Could be with our jobs (career), could be relationship (either romantic or family), could be anything. Challenges and obstacles are part of life and no living human being will say he or she has life all rosy. Its a big lie. One part of your life must be lacking or not so rosy.

We think we have chosen the right path, we think we are with the right person, but somewhere along the line, we realize we are screwed. We are zealous and dedicated, but our support system fails when we need it the most. We are just about to make significant progress when we run out of time or funding or someone who we trust never to disappoint us, disappoints us.
No matter how strong we are, we all have our breaking points. Sometimes, I laugh within me when some people make statements like, “Marilyn is always happy”. Yes! No doubt I try to be happy most of the time, but the truth is, if our eyes are to be open to the things that are hidden from us, you will realize that most people are not as strong or as happy as you think they are. They have simply not given us and that is the secret behind the positive vibes and energy they exude.

Please dear, don’t give up! Don’t even think about it because your breakthrough may just be around the corner. Before you think of resigning, throwing in the towel or just resorting to anything because it feels safer or less tasking, ask yourself these few questions: 1. What is the worst that will happen if you keep going and don’t reach your goal?
Most times when I want to turn around it’s because I am afraid of failing,afraid other people will be disappointed in me or judge me, or afraid I will have wasted my time. In all reality, no one ever judges us like we judge ourselves, and we always grow and learn through the process of striving, regardless of what we attain.
If you don’t keep going, you will never know how far you could have gone and you will miss out on being the person you would become through the effort itself. If you do keep going, well, it’s like this quote: “Shoot for the moon, for even if you miss you will land among the stars.”

2. Are you acting on impulse or emotion instead of thinking things through?
Sometimes our emotions give us hints about what we want and what we should do, but other times they are just responses to stress, and maybe even indications we are on the right track. If you act in that moment of intense emotion be it anger, disappointment, fear, or frustration you are likely to regret it once the wave has passed.
So sit back. Take note of what you are feeling. Feel it fully, without judging it or yourself. Then act when you have gotten to the other side. At least then you will know you made your decision in a moment of peace and clarity.
3. Would you enjoy giving a loved one the honest explanation for why you gave up?
And I mean honest. Yes! Would you be proud to tell your son you left the medical school and the university entirely because you were afraid to re sit an exam and fail again or because you could not even bear the shame of re sitting. If you lay out it out like this, odds are you will realize you had a really good reason for doing this difficult thing, and no matter how challenging the process is, it’s worth plowing ahead.
4. Would your life be better if you gave up on this goal?
This may not sound motivational, but sometimes giving up is actually good thing. Perhaps you set a completely unrealistic goal and its pursuit is filling you with a constant set of inadequacy and anxiety. Or maybe the goal isn’t in yours or your family’s best interest, and it’s better to get out before you invest so much time it’s near impossible to walk away.
You could easily use this as a justification to delude yourself, so think about it carefully. Is this goal really a good thing, when you weigh all the consequences of its fulfillment?

5. How much have you already put in?
A concept studied in social psychology called “the sunk cost principle” indicates the more we have invested in something, the less likely we are to prematurely walk away.
How invested are you? How much money and time have you devoted? How many sacrifices have you made? Are you really willing to chalk it all up as a loss because you are not feeling confident in your abilities?
6. What would you tell someone else if they were in your shoes?
Would you tell your best friend to give up because she can’t possibly reach her goal? Or would you practice your finest motivational speech and help her see what you see in her potential? Unless you are secretly a frenemy (a foe posing as a friend) who hopes she fails in life odds are you would push her to be her best… so why not push yourself? It may sound kind of cheesy, but you need to be your own best friend. You, more than anyone in this world, deserve your belief and motivation.

Sweetheart, if you have gone through these few questions and you are convinced that you should go on and quit or give up on what ever it is, then go ahead. But If you don’t, if there is still some lingering doubt keep working toward that dream that fills you with passion because giving up will make up more frustrated and depressed. All you need do is take a different approach and seek GOD. Whatever you do, never say “I QUIT” or “I AM TIRED OF TRYING” I was really touched hearing those words from my friend. I hope I have spoken to someone this morning. Be Enlightened! Be Inspired!! Be Motivated!!!

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8 comments

  1. Right on track dear.Never give up.”…When u are going through hell,don’t stop you go ahead,go ahead,go ahead don’t stop…”(Ron Kenoly’Welcome Home’).The Grace of God is sufficient for all who persevere.Nice one Oma.

  2. Never say “I quit” or “I’m tired of trying” ! This two phrases is all the motivation one needs to keep going forward towards set goals. This is a really good post. Well done Posh!

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