Archive | February 2014

MARILYN ANONA writes: You prefer and love the man who is more unavailable. You respect him more. He is more challenging. And yet you never know where you stand with him.

You have many guys wooing you, but one appeals so much to you.

He is confident, intelligent, good looking, kind, has a good sense of humour. He is everything you want.

The feeling you get when you are around this guy is amazing. You might even call it love. OK! let us call it love. Yes, let’s say that you are completely in love with this amazing man. To you, he is flawless even when there are clear flaws, you see them but they don’t mean a thing to you because you love him… But there is one nagging issue. This man doesn’t love you back or even if he claims to, he doesn’t show or act it. This makes you cry all the time. You are depressed and keep thinking. You are confused because he says he loves you but it doesn’t reflect in his character. You are very unhappy because millions Imageof men would sacrifice everything to be with you, but you just want to be with this one person. Yet, you don’t see any sign that he loves you as much as you do. Maybe it is time to let go of that man who has a hold on you, even though he doesn’t make any effort to make you feel special. Until you do, yo are emotionally hung up, and preventing yourself from finding true love, the kind where actions are reciprocated. You may want to hang on with the hope that he changes. What if he doesn’t and is just using you to pass time while he waits for that special someone? Hmmmm! That doesn’t sound good yeah? But wait, have you not ever thought of that? Most guys will use work as excuses. “I don’t have time” or ” I work late” seriously, is that enough reason not to reach out to someone you are in a relationship with? Is that enough reason for them to call you endlessly without you picking up their call? If someone really means a lot to you, you always have time for them no matter what! An Igbo adage says “one’s heart is always where his treasure is”. Most women find themselves in this situation. So if you are passing through same, don’t feel alone. Your condition is universal. Thousands of songs have been written about unrequited love. I am just asking you to think about YOUR unrequited love. Everyone wants to feel special. It kills to feel that feelings are not mutual. Its so sweet when feelings are mutual not just about words but in actions. The man who doesn’t love you the way you love him is WORTHLESS.

You KNOW you are not getting as much love as you are giving, but you put up with it anyway.


Because, to you, all that matters is your love for him and you think he will change or you believe he loves you because he says it or because it beats the alternative: breaking up with him, feeling sad, and going back to the dating pool once again.

So even though you are with a man who is essentially using you, you are okay with it. Or you blind yourself to it, and pretend it’s not happening.


Oh, it’s happening…

Every day you spend with a man who doesn’t love you as you love him, you are playing it safe, you are playing it scared, and you are wasting your precious time.

The unfortunate part about dating is, it often creates a power dynamic that is unhealthy. You undoubtedly recognize it. You prefer and love the man who is more unavailable. You respect him more. He is more challenging. And yet you never know where you stand with him. When you find the guy who instantly communicates to you that you are the woman of his dreams, it’s way too easy. He bores you. He is not challenging enough… (Life though) hehe. It works the same way for men. The woman who declares her love on date 1 will scare the hell out of him. The woman who makes him work for it a little bit will be the one who wins his heart.

As a result, you have this push-pull dynamic in dating where you are supposed to be available, but not too available. Flirty but not too easy. Authentic but not saying everything on your mind. Relationship-oriented but not pushing for commitment too soon.

No wonder dating is so difficult. Tell me how easy it is to make yourself unavailable to the one who really want. You have probably heard that old adage that tells women to find a man who loves you more than you love him.

The idea behind this is not to create an unequal relationship where he praises the ground you walk on and you have absolutely no respect for him.

No, the idea behind “find a man who loves you more” is really about ensuring that he’s truly devoted to you.

“He is devoted, in every sense of the word.

It’s clear, from his actions, that he feels like he is the lucky one and he is doing everything in his power to prove to her that he is worthy” Smiling! That’s the man you want in your life.

Yet that’s the MAN that you very often lose respect for. The guy who treats you well, the guy who is emotionally available, the guy who earnestly tries to win you over.

It’s not nearly as exciting as the man who keeps you on your toes because you never know where you stand. His very UNAVAILABILITY is part of what makes him so attractive.

My question is, is it unfulfilling to invest so much time in a man who doesn’t give you the security you deserve? The moral of the article is not to find some wishy-washy guy who puts you on a pedestal. Believe me, I appreciate it if you are uncomfortable finding a man who loves you more. (Nothing good comes easy). I just need one thing from you. Just promise me you will “find a man who loves you”…not just a man whom you love.

It is possible, but it takes an effort to do things differently. You are not alone.

Be Enlightened! Be Inspired!! Be Motivated!!!

This entry was posted on February 28, 2014. 47 Comments

MARILYN ANONA writes: A hot weather has a lot of adverse effects on our body and our health, we may not know it but heat is really dangerous to us.



I live in Abuja, a city that has extreme weather conditions. When it is cold, it is extremely cold. When it gets hot, it gets unbearable. My goodness! Didn’t they say that too much of everything is bad? But when it comes to cold, we all can manage it by getting ourselves duvets, blankets, cardigans and by locking up the windows and doors. Now, what do you do when the air is so still and has refused to move? The sun is at its peak and the temperature is so high? What do you do when all the sun hitting the walls of your building translates to heat at night and you find it so hard to sleep? What do you do when NEPA or PHCN has decided to now interrupt power supply once its 9pm.

I don’t want you to mention “the generator”. We all know that the generator is more problematic and has injured or killed so many people. But if you fall in the category or class of people who can afford the “Mikano” or “Top class” noiseless generators, fine and good. But if by generators you mean those small “I pass my neighbour” and their likes please I suggest you keep quiet. Yes! Because the noise from those type of generators and the smoke “carbon mono oxide” they emit can kill you before you wake up.
A hot weather has a lot of adverse effects on our body and our health, we may not know it but heat is really dangerous to us. The body’s most common response to extreme heat is dehydration. When exposed to direct sunlight and temperatures higher than 90 degrees Fahrenheit, the body can lose as much as half a gallon of water every 10 minutes. This dehydration also can interfere with the body’s internal thermostat, leaving it vulnerable to heat-related illnesses such as severe sunburn, heat cramps, heat exhaustion and heat stroke.

No matter where you live, it is important to recognize the real dangers of extreme heat and take action to offset its impact at the earliest stages. The gradual nature of extreme heat’s effects on the body makes it important to be aware of these heat-related illnesses. One sure way to reduce heat at periods like this, is to constantly drink water because the body loses so much water at this time. So, drink water even if you are not thirsty. Fruits with high water content are also advised. Avoid fizzy drinks.

Again, you can plan your day such that you stay away from the sun. Though during extremely hot times, you don’t need to be under the sun to feel hot but being under th sun is more severe. Stay indoors most of the time or under shades when you must go out.

Be sure to do your exercise or strenuous activities at the cooler times of the day like early in the morning or late in the evening. During this period, it is best to avoid black. We should wear more of brightly coloured clothes with natural fabrics. They should not be tight. Loose clothes are ideal.

We all should have at least a sunglass and sun screen lotions. They help! Most of us have air conditioners, but we can’t use it at night either because of power failure or low voltage. Therefore, you must be sure that your house is very well ventilated. Windows should be open throughout the night. Be sure to take your bath and occasionally splash yourself with water especially the face, neck and back. For your own good, eat little at night especially now that the weather is hot! Over feeding makes us uncomfortable and I know you won’t want to combine it with heat.

I hope I have helped in my own little way friends. The weather can get quite unbearable. Let’s help ourselves in ways we can.
Be Enlightened! Be Inspired!! Be Motivated!!!

This entry was posted on February 26, 2014. 10 Comments

MARILYN ANONA writes: Your man or woman wants to know you. Your vulnerabilities and everything. Those with low self esteem will want to appear like superman or batman or portray themselves as without emotions.

marilyn anona

marilyn anona

Superiority complex, feeling too big or seeing one’s self as the best isn’t good but inferiority complex and the opposite of all I listed are not better too. Inferiority complex or low self esteem is not good for you and it has an adverse effect on your relationship. And unfortunately, the effect of low self esteem or inferiority complex in a relationship further lowers your already low self esteem. First of all, low self esteem is highly unattractive. Women want men who are very confident and self assured. A man who is bold and doesn’t hide behind people. Personally, laid back men are a huge turn off. The truth is, men also want same thing in women. Confidence is beautiful. A woman who lacks confidence lacks charms. Low self esteem brings unnecessary stress in a relationship. You make a case out of everything your partner does. If he is friendly to the opposite sex, its a problem for you because you always feel unsafe. The feeling of inadequacy makes you suspicious at all times. When your partner suffers low self esteem, there is constant misunderstanding. Those who suffer from low self esteem find it hard to voice out what they feel because they are ashamed they will be laughed at. So they just assume their partner should turn to magicians and read their minds. This causes untold rifts in a relationship. Low self esteem makes you hide your true self from your partner. Come on! Your man or woman wants to know you. Your vulnerabilities and everything. Those with low self esteem will want to appear like superman or batman or portray themselves as without emotions. When your partner doesn’t know the real you, what sort of relationship is that? Now this is peculiar to women, women with low self esteem are usually high maintenance women who think that being too materialistic means that their value is high. And sincerely men don’t like high maintenance women and such women are hardly faithful in relationships. When their men don’t spend on them, they feel worthless and jump to another man. To them, once you can spend lots of money on them, it means they are valued. You have to love yourself to love others.
Though it is a bit of a cliche phrase, it’s true that in order to love someone else, you have to first love yourself. A relationship can easily crumble if you can’t first accept and love who you are. When someone has low self-esteem, they don’t feel as if they deserve to be treated well. If your partner is respectful and nice, you may find that you push such sentiments and actions away, which can make him/her feel unwanted. Low self-esteem influences your mood negatively. When you don’t see yourself in a positive light, those thoughts will definitely escape in your moods, emotions, and temper. If you hate who you are and how you look, you won’t be quite happy. And when you are not happy, your partner isn’t either. Low self-esteem definitely negatively impacts your sex and love life. If you are uncomfortable with yourself in the mirror, you won’t be comfortable stark naked in front of your boyfriend. And let’s face it, we all need it at some point in time. Intimacy is a factor in a healthy relationship. While it’s not a bad thing to have your partner randomly compliment you, it can become a problem when the compliments and praise are needed endlessly. This makes compliments and praise a lot less special and it puts a lot of pressure on your partner to continuously try to boost your self-esteem. People with low self esteem are poor at communication. They appear shy, introverted or reserved. That’s not a good thing. Can there be a good relationship without effective communication? Low self esteem is not a good thing. Some don’t even know they have that problem. They may even be the most beautiful on the street or the richest in the neighbourhood yet feel so inferior. You are very okay and you were created for a special someone. Don’t self defeat yourself. Accept yourself just as you are. Appreciate yourself because if you don’t, nobody will. Be Enlightened! Be Inspired!! Be Motivated!!!

MARILYN ANONA writes: There is no Alpha or Beta grading system in life. Success is relative and change is constant.

Image I thank GOD for blessing me with the spirit of. contentment. If there is something I don’t do,it is wishing to be in someone else’s shoes. I long for the good things in life no doubt, but I don’t ever use anyone as a yardstick or comparison because I don’t see life as a competition. I see it as a level ground for all to thrive. I see success as relative and I know that no one has a perfect or complete life. So I don’t at any point in my life wish to be like Miss Agatha because she drives a G wagon or wish to be like Mrs Ene because she lives in Maitama with her hubby and travels to at least 5 European countries every year for vacation. I don’t wsh to be in Miss Agatha’s or Mrs Eneh’s shoes but I wish to enjoy the comfort and luxury in life. I hope you get the difference? On Saturday, I did a broadcast message on my blackberry messenger. Here is the message ” Let’s debate oya. I have come again… Please can someone tell me why a lady will get married and start cheating under 4months, when u advise her she will say HER HUBBY DOESN’T HAVE MONEY SO SHE CAN’T AFFORD TO BE TATTERED. Now my question is, why get married when you can’t stay faithful? If you start cheating 4months after your wedding when will you stop? Women are fond of saying men cheat a lot. Me, from what I see on daily basis, I think women cheat more they are just good at concealing it. What do u think? “. That was the message. Of course I got lots of answers, for and against. But I was shocked when a certain young woman told me a shocking story about her marital life so far. I cried as a result of what she told me. I cried over and over not because I have never heard such stories but because I never imagined she was going through such a thing. She is a very beautiful woman that every man will like to have. She got married to a handsome man that most women would also love to have and GOD has blessed them with 3 kids. Her husband has a fruitful career and she appears to be a very blessed housewife. They live in a very big 3bedroom flat in one of the major cities in Nigeria and they have cars. So judging from outside, they are not doing badly at all and most people will see them as a match made in heaven. She contributed to the debate like most people did but I was angry with her because it seemed to me that she was taking sides with unfaithful women. Then she started telling me about herself. I was shocked when she told me her hubby sleeps with her house helps, impregnates women and does all sorts. She went on to tell me that the man doesn’t even buy her or her kids clothes that all he does is pay rent. He has refused her working or doing business but she hides to do a little bit of buying and selling and hides the things she sells from her hubby so that she won’t starve. The man goes as far as buying clothes for himself and hiding them inside his car booth so that she won’t know he has money. She told me all sorts of things that I had to even beg her to stop because the stories were too overwhelming. She told me a lot of things that I won’t even want to put down here. She ended it up by saying “sis, I hate to remember some things, when a woman does somethings you don’t have to judge or blame her, Marriage isn’t what it seems! Forget my smiles and happy face, they are just facade”. I advised her not to join her hubby in misbehaving. That she should put everything into prayers and draw close to GOD. Hmmmmm! I know that most of you already know where I am headed. Yes, most women wish to be in the lady’s shoes because they see her smile but they don’t know what she is passing through. Only the person who is wearing a shoe knows where it hurts. So many times, people come to me with their tales of woe, sadness and all sorts. Some people have openly told me they wish they are me just because they assume that my life is better than theirs. I get facebook messages from people saying they wish to be like me. I just laugh! If you are told to step into the shoes of that person you wish to be like, how sure are you that you can even take a healthy step in those shoes. Don’t let happy faces and appearances deceive you. Do not use anyone as a yardstick or comparison. Aspire to be great your own way. Set your goals and work towards them. Don’t depress yourself by always comparing yourself to people. You may be better than they are. And they may even be wishing to be like you. There is no Alpha or Beta grading system in life. Success is relative and change is constant. Be yourself!!! Be Enlightened! Be Inspired!! Be Motivated!!! 

Majid Michel sparks controversy after saying “Ghollywood doesn’t exist, Nollywood is Africa’s film industry”

Amebo Republik

Award winning actor Majid Michel has sparked controversy after saying ‘there is no Ghollywood, it’s only Nollywood’.

The Ghanaian actor reportedly made the comment on HITZ, a program on ONTV, an entertainment channel which operates under Sound City TV in Nigeria.

The actor declared on the said program that there is nothing like Ghollywood (the name Ghanaians gave their movie industry) but there is only Nollywood in Africa and that it was Nigeria that came up with the whole idea and made it a reality for others to follow.

Some of the questions being raised by his fans are: ‘Does the movie industry in Ghana has a name or is there any industry at all that Ghanaians can boast of?

Was Majid right in his comments on the show? So where, from which movie industry at all did he (Majid) started his movie career if his comments was well understood?

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Bread is loved and eaten by almost all NIGERIANS. personally, I am not a huge fan of bread as i can go for days or even weeks without remembering or eating bread but when I see good bread such as the ones baked by “NEXT CASH AND CARRY” Abuja, I will eat to the point of overfeeding.
I have always been scared of most of these bread sold on the road especially those ones without labels. Most times, when I say i don’t eat them, my friends will say I form a lot. They simply do not understand.
In NIGERIA, buying bread is almost a tradition for anyone who has gone on a journey or trip. You hear people say “welcome! wey bread?” when the person returns. But I am one of the few people who will never buy a loaf of bread on the road. I even learnt…

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