MARILYN ANONAa writes: The truth is, the debtor doesn’t feel good about the situation too and that’s why they are avoiding you.

Can someone just help me out with this one? Is it that we live in a planet where no one has a conscience anymore or is it just about the economic hardship most people face that make them act without caring how people feel? Have you ever had someone borrow money from you then refuse to pay you back by giving a lot of excuses or even avoiding you? Some even shout down on you and warn you sternly to stop disturbing their peace telling you Nigeria is in debt yet we all live in it. A friend who you dote on and see as very honest, principled and full of integrity calls you one day sounding so downcast and asks you to help him out with some cash that he would pay back in a week’s time. Being the loving and loyal friend that you are, you immediately lend him or her the money, confident it will come back in due time. A week passes by, a month, six months, ten months… Yet your money is nowhere to be found! You are in a tight situation because in as much as you really need your money, you also don’t want to strain the relationship you have with your friend. So what do you do? How do you get your money back and still maintain the friendship? You have sent series of reminders, you have called endlessly yet your money hasn’t come. For me the best thing to do if the money stretches is to simply let them keep the money. If never getting the money back isn’t going to ruin your life, consider gifting the money. You will feel good about it and then you can move on after all givers never lack. But if you are bent on getting your money back, try at all cost to be patient and always think of the worth of your relationship with the debtor. Again, try as much as you can to control yourself during the process of trying to get back your money. Don’t let it bring you down or destroy your life. Sentiments apart, It is not a good idea to lend money to friends or family members. However, if you have already done the deed and find yourself dealing with it, make the best of the situation. The truth is, the debtor doesn’t feel good about the situation too and that’s why they are avoiding you. I have been in this situation and as I am writing this, I am seriously disturbed as to how to get my money back. But I have come to realize that patience and self control are th best approach. I have learnt my lesson and won’t pass through this again. When you come to borrow, I will just give you a cash gift ie the amount I have and willing to give out. Have you lent money to friends or family members? What was your experience like? Have they paid you back? Please share your experience with us… Be Enlightened! Be Inspired!! Be Motivated!!!



  1. This post is so so true.I had a situation where someone I respected so much, an older cousin, owed me money for over two years. He wasn’t perturbed about my numerous calls or pleas to repay the money. He bought a new car, got married, moved house and yet he couldn’t pay his debt. I needed my money, badly, yet I was being careful about my approach to avoid straining the relationship or being disrespectful. I was really boxed into a corner by my own generosity. Like they say experience is the best teacher,so I have resolved never to lend what I cannot afford to forgive. As a matter of fact I have also learned to say an outright NO when its clear that the borrower is not reliable. Keep up the good work PoshMarilyn.

  2. As usual, Marylin always knows what to say, you’re right. When I give, I give with a mind of not taking it back which is why most times when my friends pay me back I’m shocked, but nevertheless it’s not right to take someone else’s property without return cus that’s theft

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