Archive | January 2014

MARILYN ANONA writes: One day you are married, the other day you are single and in grief. But you should learn to cope with this situation because whether we like it or not, it will always happen. Nothing lasts forever.

POSHMARILYN

POSHMARILYN

A HOUSE IS NOT A HOME WHEN A LOVED ONE IS GONE! We should never pray to experience this. For me its the most painful thing to happen to someone especially at a very young age. We don’t choose what happens to us, if we are able to choose none of us will be poor, ill or jobless. None of us will die. But life has a way of just serving us the worst food. You fall in love with the best man or woman and you get married. Life is so beautiful and full of promises, you get pregnant and give birth to a beautiful daughter. Then a year and six months after the wedding precisely on Easter day, robbers attack your home and the life of your beloved husband was taken in the process, did I hear someone say GOD forbid? Yes! GOD forbid indeed. Now your husband of just 18 months dies leaving you a widow at 23 years with a daughter and to add to the pain, this happened on Easter day when other families are busying making merry and enjoying themselves. Life!!! In 2012, I met this man and thought he was a very weird fellow because I could not understand him. But along the line, I came to understand why he behaves the way he does. He lost his wife of just 4 years in such a devastating manner. According to him, on a certain day, he had gone to work already and after some hours, he got a call from his wife who was crying over the phone that the house was on fire and then the line went dead. In shock, he left the office and headed home but unfortunately before he got home, the devil had succeeded in playing a fast one. Nooooooo! Calm down, the house didn’t burn *sad face*. The house was in tact with no signs of fire. The young man came back to meet his wife’s blood all over the place. It happened that when the place wanted to burn, the man’s kids and house maid were able to use the staircase but before the wife could make it to the door to use the stairs too, smoke had covered the whole place so she tried to come down from the rail as they were residing in one of those high rise buildings in Wuse Abuja, she had a towel wrapped round her because she was in the bathroom before this whole thing started. Now trying to come down the building through the rails, her towel got loose and she tried to tie it up and that was how she crashed on the ground from the 3rd floor. Very terrible!!! Then is it the case of losing your spouse in an ordinary domestic quarrel a situation where one pushes the other and that’s the end. It could also be an illness, it could be car accident. Which ever way it happens, the death of a spouse is terrible and could be so traumatic even throughout life. Its more painful when one is starting life. Death at all level is painful but you can’t compare losing a spouse after 30years of marriage to losing a spouse after 2years to 10years of marriage. Its a very terrible experience. I pray that none of us experience it. One day you are married, the other day you are single and in grief. But you should learn to cope with this situation because whether we like it or not, it will always happen. Nothing lasts forever. Losing a spouse can change your entire life, especially when he or she was also your best friend. You feel completely lost and totally uncomfortable making even minor decisions. The bed feels big and you hug the pillows for comfort. But something inside you tells you that you can survive! And oh yes, you will survive!!! There are so many things to do to ensure that you survive this ugly experience and come out strong. Its okay to cry, yes cry as much as you can but don’t go weak because at times like this, you really need your strength. Don’t wallow in self pity because not all sympathizers are genuine ones. Some say sorry but are very happy that you are sad so don’t give room for such. Brace yourself up, especially in the typical Nigerian setting where widows usually have in laws to deal with. To ensure that you survive the death of your spouse, you should first of all fulfill their death wish if there was any and if there wasn’t, you should find a way to honour them. Could be a decision to abstain from sexual intimacy for a certain period of time. This will ensure that you move on with peace of mind. Its very important that you know it will take a while before you get back to normal. Be patient with yourself as you work through the process of grief. Grief is a journey that lasts as long as it takes to reconcile all issues pertaining to death, your spouse, yourself, your relationship to bring peace and understanding.
During your grieving or mourning period, some people will try to make you believe you are not mourning properly. The truth is, we all have different ways of mourning and though there are standards in our traditional Nigerian society but don’t let anyone work you up. Abide by the stated rules and all will be fine. So if there is any rule or traditional practice that says you have to cut your hair etc, please do it for the sake of your spouse. Another way to ensure you survive this period is to think of those things you wanted to do but never did. For example, you have your degree and even masters and have never worked even though you wanted to be couldn’t because your husband won’t let you work, now is the time to go get that job. Step out and do that which you have always wanted to do. It could be acting, or anything. Go out and do it. Finally, in all of these processes be patient. It won’t take a day to adapt. But with time, everything will be fine again. This post is dedicated to all the people who have lost their husbands or wives… Its not the end of the world. You will smile, laugh and love again. I love you all. Be Enlightened! Be Inspired!! Be Motivated!!!

This entry was posted on January 31, 2014. 12 Comments

Meet our “Posh Style Personality”KENECHUKWU OCHONOGOR……

kelly kellyy

KENE

KENE


Someone with a great sense of fashion is one who is able to tell the world who he or she is without having to talk. This is actually broad because it means the person in question has to know how and when to dress at all times. The person has to always wear clothes that flatter their figure. The person has to have a pattern that is hers irrespective of trend, after all, great style is style that is truly your own!
KENE

KENE


So this week we bring to you our “POSH STYLE PERSONALITY”. She is a young intelligent woman who knows how to make any outfit super cool. She knows what colours to combine and what colours suit her skin tone most.
KENE

KENE


KENECHUKWU OCHONOGOR is a seasoned Journalist and Broadcaster based in the United Kingdom. Her style is worth emulating. kenee

KENE

KENE

MARILYN ANONA writes: Luckily we live in the part of the world where we can still see cheap natural fruits and flowers that we can make juice out of.

THEY ARE CALLED SOFT DRINKS BUT VERY HARD ON OUR HEALTH.

THEY ARE CALLED SOFT DRINKS BUT VERY HARD ON OUR HEALTH.


Yes, we all love soft drinks especially the carbonated ones. In fact, to most Nigerians, its a tradition to have our lunch with a bottle of chilled Coca-Cola as seen in most adverts placed in our local bukkers always asking us if we had our food with a bottle of Coca-Cola. The hot weather especially at this time of the year has not even helped matters. The urge to have soft drinks is higher now as they usually have a relieving or soothing effect on us when we take them. There is this IGBO adage that says “sweet things are usually more harmful” and its so true. Some people even admit to drinking more soda than water each day, or no water at all. There are many reasons why you should not take soft drinks especially on daily basis. Even moderate consumption of soft drinks can be dangerous how much more taking it more than water. To make it worse, most of us don’t exercise so our body cannot even utilize the sugar from these soft drinks. I don’t want this to be a very lengthy post so that you don’t get bored. So I want to quickly share with you some of the reasons why soft drinks are bad for you. 1.Daily consumption of soft drinks can cause plaque to build up on the teeth leading to cavities and gum disease. 2. There is absolutely no nutritional value in soft drinks whatsoever. Not only are there many harmful effects of soft drinks, but there are not even any positive benefits to outweigh them.  3. Harvard researchers have recently positively linked soft drinks to obesity. The study found that 12 year olds who drank soda were more likely to be obese than those who didn’t, and for each serving of soda consumed daily, the risk of obesity increased 1.6 times.
4. The water used in soft drinks is just simple tap water and can contain chemicals like chlorine, fluoride and traces of heavy metals.
5. Most soft drinks contain caffeine, which has been linked to certain cancers, breast lumps, irregular heart beat, high blood pressure, raised cholesterol and other problems. 6. Because of the high sugar, sodium and caffeine content in soda, it dehydrates the body and over a long period of time can cause chronic dehydration. A single can of soda contains the equivalent of 10 teaspoons of sugar. This amount of sugar, especially in liquid form, skyrockets the blood sugar and causes an insulin reaction in the body. Over time, this can lead to diabetes or insulin resistance, not to mention weight gain and other health problems. Soft drink companies are the largest user of sugar in the country. So we all should be very careful. Luckily we live in the part of the world where we can still see cheap natural fruits and flowers that we can make juice out of. Things like the Hibiscus flower (Zobo) and the pineapples, oranges,carrots etc we have scattered all over the place. We should take advantage of them and help our health. This weather is very hot so this is a period of great temptation. But we should try and resist soft drinks, soda, carbonated drinks, fizzy drinks or what ever you may choose to call them. Be Enlightened! Be Inspired!! Be Motivated!!!

MARILYN ANONA writes: You are the average of the five people you associate with most, so do not underestimate the effects of your pessimistic, unambitious, or disorganized friends. If someone isn’t making you stronger, they are making you weaker.

poshmarilyn

poshmarilyn


Good morning friends. Hope your weekend was peaceful? Mine was peaceful and I am indeed grateful to GOD for the gift of life. Today, I bring to you reasons why many youths especially we in our 20s do not know what we are doing or where we are headed. This lack of direction amongst youths is crippling the society. The reasons Why most of us don’t Know What we are Doing in our 20s are too numerous to count but I want to share a few of those reasons with u.
The first reason is that most of us didn’t take advantage of our university years. We chose a course of study because we were good at it in high school and found it ”interesting”or because our parents said we must study such courses or because we simply want to go to the university so as to be called graduates at the end of the day. Most of us, I am a typical example were studying subjects we weren’t passionate about but, we thought having a high GPA would equal success. It didn’t, and we are slowly becoming very angry now that we are doing a job we have no idea how you got into when you graduated. In college, most of us major in something we chose out of convenience or didn’t even choose ourselves, so we have no real idea what we are going to do with the education.
In graduate school because we got a B.Sc in something we don’t know what to do with.
In a job with our major in an industry we have no real passion for, and to make it worse we are surrounded by people who did the same thing. Maybe they have a decent salary and benefits, live in a nice apartment, and leased a new car, so they are very reluctant to leave. Confused people, bringing up confused people… How sad!
Another reason why most of us don’t know what we are doing in our 20s is because we live for the future neglecting the present which leads to the future. We are not enjoying the present moment. We expect that some event in the future will make us happy. Living for the future and thinking the future will be better after something is completed or once we have earned degree, gotten married or earned promotion at work. We are missing the opportunities around you in the present because we live for the future.
We spend our whole life stuck in the labyrinth, thinking how we will escape one day, and how awesome it will be, and imagining that future keeps you going, but we never do it. We just use the future to escape the present.
Live fully in the present. Don’t live to be happy. Be happy while living. Don’t make happiness the end product of your achievements or goals ie get a perfect job/car/house/spouse=Happy life. Derive happiness from whatever you are doing at present. It is the journey that you must enjoy not the end result. Time is ticking and you will not get it back.
Live fully and embrace the present. We can walk our way through life thinking the future will be brighter but if we are not doing the things that matter or count today then we will never arrive. We have got to love the journey.
Another reason why most of us don’t know what we are doing in our 20s is our parents. Our parents control us. Parents have a major influence on the lives of children, and that’s fine after all at that level they take care of most of the bills. But what we have to understand is that our parents want what is safe and secure for us. They are less interested in whether or not that makes you truly happy. They want what brings prestige to them without bothering about what we truly want.
They don’t want you to take the risk and fail. They want you to be financially independent. They want to know that we can pay our own bills and provide for their future grandchildren. Sometimes the harder route is better for us, and we as adult individuals can see that, but our parents can’t see our lives in the same light.
For most parents, work is work. This is in part generational. Most parents have spent their entire lives doing things they didn’t like to provide for you. (You have to respect that.)
So, while we should respect the wishes and views of our parents, we don’t have to mindlessly go down the path they lay out for us. If we truly want to do something, we need to take control of our own life and do it. At the end of the day, it’s our life to live.
After all, freedom is not worth having if it does not include the freedom to make mistakes and some mistakes are worth it in the end.
So listen to them. Consider their advice. They have been around a lot longer than us, and they have got a lot of wisdom and good sense to share. But it’s nothing new for children to hold different values and goals than their parents, and at some point we have to learn to define our own code. This phenomenon is part of coming of age, and it’s a natural, healthy part of the human experience.
Another valid reason why we don’t know what we doing in our 20s is because our environment is holding us back. What we surround ourselves with affects us and what we do. How will you ever figure out what to do in your 20s if your friends spend their time playing Play stations, watching movies, jumping from one night club to the other , and doing things that provide instant gratification instead of working towards their goals, that’s what you are going to do, too. Yes, these things are fun. But everything in should be in moderation, right?
Excessive indulgence (whether it’s drinking, partying, face booking, drug use, sex, junk eating, or whatever) can prevent you from focusing on self-discovery and improvement, and it can even become your worst enemy. Being social is good, and involving yourself in the right relationships can encourage and empower you.
However, filling your nights with temporary pleasures is just that temporary. It’s fleeting. And yes, it will get old. The problem for most people is that when it gets old, they are also older, and in the meantime they haven’t gotten themselves to the place in life that they want to be.
You are the average of the five people you associate with most, so do not underestimate the effects of your pessimistic, unambitious, or disorganized friends. If someone isn’t making you stronger, they are making you weaker.
Instead, surround yourself with people who have qualities you admire, who are smarter and more driven than you. Let their success rub off. Soak up their energy, and let their drive help push you to be better too. Outside of school, this is harder. And don’t be one-sided about it either. Remember that you can positively influence others by encouraging others to be their best selves.
If you want to get somewhere, then hang out with the people who are already there or who also want to get there. Change your environment, change your friends, and you change everything.
Another good reason why most of us don’t know what we are doing in our 20s is we have taken the wrong path. Most young people suffer from being totally short-sighted. We think we will have plenty of time to get what we want, so we don’t take the appropriate steps now, and suddenly life passes us by. I was expressing my fears and concerns to an older person last week. His response was “Haba! Marilyn, relax now you are still young” that got me more disturbed. I asked him, how old he was 10 years ago… I told him no one remains young forever. Too many of us are all about short term gains and happiness.
We want to be happy now, and we won’t sacrifice any part of that in return for future gains. So, we get stuck in the endless cycle of day to day motions, because we are content with that cycle. School, work, gym, go out. That’s not necessarily bad, but it’s not going to lead you to anything greater down the line.
We could be spending most of your time climbing a ladder leaned up against the wrong wall (most people do). Just because there is a ladder in front of you doesn’t mean you need to climb it. Sometimes we need to find the right ladder. Find the ladder destined for you. Find your mission.
Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.
There is this surface level motto that has been adopted and twisted to encourage stupid behaviour, YOLO. You Only Live Once? Exactly. You only live once, so why waste your time doing something you don’t even care about? Nobody’s going to tell you what to do, and nobody’s going to hold your hand and lead you down the path that will lead you to long lasting future fulfillment.
Most people don’t care who you are or what you do. It’s up to you to decide what you really want to do, then start taking steps to make it happen.
Most of us do not know what we are doing in our 20s because we have stopped learning. Our education begins after graduation, not ends. School isn’t the only outlet for learning. Think about learning from experience and results. What have you done? What skills do you possess? Learning is an ongoing process, not something you actively choose to do. Most times when I speak in a gathering or when someone reads my article, they don’t believe it when I tell them I studied pure sciences in school. I learn daily, I have a curious mind and love to know so I do a lot of extensive reading. And because of that, I know a lot of things more than people in my age bracket. A lifelong education can also be your greatest tool and one that’s an absolute necessity for greatness.
Read books, don’t allow schooling interfere with education. This is the wisest investment you can make. Make constant learning a habit. Knowledge cannot be stolen or broken like material things. That’s why millionaires are broke one year and richer the next year. It’s not the money that got them rich it’s the knowledge. The bank can’t repossess your mind. Invest in your mind, and you will be able to put it to work until you are dead.
Again, we have this mentality that a good grade in school guarantees success and that the society owes us as a result. Please let’s wake up. Having a 1st class honours doesn’t guarantee success in life. This mentality has affected majority of us including me. We just sit and complain of how much the society is messed up. We may be very intelligent academically, but we also have to be street smart. What you are able to do outside the class room is what counts most. In a society where you have so many people scrambling for few jobs, no one will hand you a job. So its time for us to wake up. You think you are favoured after listening to your pastor preach in church. Now, calculate the number of people that heard that sermon with you in your parish alone, multiply it by the number of parishes in your church alone… For example, Winners’ chapel Gwarinpa then all the winners’ chapel in Abuja multiplied by all the winners’ chapel in different villages, cities in Nigeria multiplied by 36 states in the country “laughs out loud”. This is just living faith o. We count catholic, Anglican, Dunamis etc… Everyone who goes to church calls on GOD and believes he or she is favoured. So we all are favoured. You don’t just sit down, fold your arms and say “I am a favoured child” therefore I must be successful! Even the Bible said the faith without work is dead. Let’s wake up. Again, we don’t know what we are doing because we spend our 20s doing the same thing and expecting different results. If you want different results tomorrow, do different things today. It will never be easier to take big risks and try new things than when you are still young,you are likely to have fewer commitments and obligations to hold you down. If your environment is holding you back, change your environment.
Form the habits that will define your adult life. Eliminate the negative, embrace the positive, and form habits that breed success.
Eventually, everyone realizes they are temporary. It sinks in, little by little, that you won’t be here forever. Understand this while you are in your 20s vs in your 50s when you finally realize that your youth has passed you by. The fact that your life can and will end, something you are desensitized to as a young person (because we assume our time is still long, and it seems endless), becomes reality.
For most people, that change comes too late in life. Allow yourself to feel it. Accept it. Meditate on it. Your time is going to fly by. Start making it count today. Live with purpose. Live with passion.
Most youths in their 20s don’t know what they are doing, they now use the post graduate schools as a means to pass time. They escape to post graduate schools and the confusion continues. You should go to post graduate school if you want to pursue a career that requires it. Don’t go just for the fun of it, or to put off entering the job market, or to improve your resume by adding an additional line to it. Show employers results, not degrees.
Too many people go to post graduate school as a means of hiding out, because they are afraid of the world beyond academia. It’s all they know. Go to the post graduate school because the Job you are doing requires it. Its not a decoration and should not be a title either. Having an Masters degree without any job experience doesn’t make you a professional. That is why most Nigerian youths work as graduate trainees with MSc. Its quite a lengthy piece but I know that those who took the time to read it really enjoyed themselves. Let us all, become conscious of the things we do especially we in our 20s. There is no time and before we know it, we are 30 and regrets set in. Time waits for no man… Time can never halt because of you… Be Enlightened! Be Inspired!! Be Motivated!!!

MARILYN ANONA writes: But if the conversation is about fashion, food,movies or music they are so excited and absorbed.

Its another beautiful day and I think GOD for the gift of a new day. Life is something we all should be grateful for no matter what we are passing through. I have noticed that asking people about what they are doing or want to do with their lives tend to drag down the conversation. But if the conversation is about fashion, food,movies or music they are so excited and absorbed. Ask them about their ambitions and the light in their eyes goes out. People don’t want to talk about their career, school or anything about their future. This is really sad. Why should talking about your life be a boring topic? It should be the most interesting thing to talk about. This boils down to youths not discovering themselves and the reason for their existence. And it leads to lack of direction which cripples the entire system. This sort of problem is typical of a society like ours that makes us believe that doing certain things when we are young results in future happiness and fulfillment. For example, most Nigerian youths think or believe that ” oh well, I will go to school,study, graduate, do my compulsory NYSC & get a job, build a house, get married etc. The mentality that the society owes us after playing our part by going to school, we feel the society owes us a happy life. But we know that life has never been that easy especially now except we want to dwell in self deceit. Again, being busy doesn’t necessarily mean that you know what you are doing. Yeah! You are an undergraduate, very good… You have a job, very interesting… But my question is, why are you doing what you are doing? Why will you be tomorrow? How about 10years? Are you doing what you want to do? I ask these questions because it seems to me like most people are moving blindly believing that somehow, things will work out in the end. But should we be playing games with this one life we have? Well, I leave us with that question. Its Friday again. THANK GOD ITS FRIDAY… Do have a most peaceful and fun filled weekend. Be Enlightened! Be Inspired!! Be Motivated!!!

This entry was posted on January 24, 2014. 15 Comments

MEET SHOLLAH OGUNBODE OUR POSH STYLE PERSONALITY…

SHOLLA OGUNBODE

SHOLLA OGUNBODE


Shollah Ogunbode is our “Posh Style Personality” of the week. He is the CEO of EFISIE boutique Abuja. Every stylista and Fashionista visits EFISIE boutique because this is where you get the best designs and labels at the best price too. If you have never visited EFISIE boutique, then you have not started looking good. So you all should please pay a visit. Just one visit and you see things for yourself.
SHOLLA OGUNBODE

SHOLLA OGUNBODE

SHOLLAH OGUNBODE

SHOLLAH OGUNBODE

THIS IS WHAT SHOLLAH OGUNBODE HAS TO SAY : Some years ago, I had this beautiful dream to become one of the best and biggest fashion designers in Nigeria. Nonetheless, reality set in when I enrolled into one of the leading fashion schools in Lagos, Nigeria (GINANI FASHION SCHOOL) where I graduated with a “DISTINCTION” due to the zeal and passion for fashion, I worked myself to the point of exhaustion day after day in pursuit of that dream which I cherished so much.
SHOLLAH OGUNBODE

SHOLLAH OGUNBODE

At this point, it is eminent to note that I did engage myself with other activities in the process basically to raise capital needed to set_up a fashion outlet credible enough to compete with other players in the industry, In this light I like to appreciate you for reading through Efisie Boutique Profile, located at Suite S7:3a. 23 Ekukinam Street Opp. Utako market, Utako-Abuja. We open mondays through saturdays daily! Note that Efisie boutique is inspired by the fast growth rate in fashion and modern styling for men & women of elegance, style and class. Whereas the source of our inspiration is not far from Nature and beautiful mix of colours bringing the best and smart look in our customers, we provide simple, classy, bossy and casual wears plus lovely foot wears, sun_glasses, frames, belts, blazers, slippers, pants, tops,t-shirts etc for men/women keeping the swag visible and also aiming at making our preferred customers Look Young Forever. CALL: 08132799768 OR BB: 28AB3454!
EFISIE BOUTIQUE

EFISIE BOUTIQUE

SHOLLAH OGUNBODE

SHOLLAH OGUNBODE