MARILYN ANONA writes Jealousy finally gives birth to wobbly and unhealthy relationships.

At the office yesterday, a certain guy came to my desk and we got talking. Along the line, he asked a question. He asked if I take my partner’s calls especially in his absence, I told him that I do not live with my partner but it depends on the situation, that sometimes the phone will ring so many times when I am around and he is not there to take it and out of curiosity or care I would pick and relay the message to him when he comes back. He complained that his partner is in the habit of taking all the numbers of ladies in his cell without his knowledge and calling to insult them without minding or thinking about his relationship with those women.

the height of jealousy
the height of jealousy
are you jealous?
are you jealous?
when a partner suspects
when a partner suspects
fear
fear
He said she misbehaves a lot when they go out and would accuse him of looking at another woman. He ended the whole gist with; in fact, I want to quit! I am tired!! I calmed him down and asked him a few questions because I wanted to find out if she had reasons for behaving that way and he said yes! “She once saw a love text from a lady on my cell”. I urged him to take it easy and constantly reassure his partner that she is the one for him in any way he can. Because I know she is suffering from “fear” and “lack of trust”. In romantic relationships, jealousy often involves other people. There is this fear that our partner will leave us for someone that he or she finds more attractive, more intelligent, richer or someone more phenomenal. It is this insecurity and lack of confidence within us that makes us fearful and leads to an unbelievable level of jealousy.

The main problem is that the things that this jealousy leads us to do and the way it leads us to act, in our effort to keep our relationship, are the very behaviours and actions that end the relationship. The people that we are with will feel that they are being controlled, manipulated, and unjustly persecuted. Jealousy doesn’t feel good to you and even your partner. Whether they have done anything that has contributed to your insecurity or not, they are the ones that are bearing the brunt of it.

Whatever a person needs to do to get rid of the insecurity that is destroying them, it is important that they do this in order to find true happiness in relationships with other people. Insecurity gives birth to untold fear, fear in turn gives birth to jealousy, and jealousy finally gives birth to wobbly and unhealthy relationships.

Jealousy is very terrible emotion to have to deal with, especially when it is in its extreme and experienced on a regular basis. It is a killer of relationships. How and what should be done to curb or reduce JEALOUSY in romantic relationships? Your opinions are needed… Be Enlightened! Be Inspired!! Be Motivated!!!

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14 comments

  1. Jealousy?!smh.Anytime I meet a lady I always ask her if she easily gets jealous.If her reply is “yes”I maintain my distances.About 3months ago,I met a lady on social network.When I found out she was the jealous type I diplomatically pulled away from the relationship.I believe that women/men that easily get jealous are always obsessed with their partner and that can be dangerous.I can’t say that I know how one can deal with jealousy scientifically.But I only know that if you know that you get jealous easily and you cannot control it, you should go to God in Prayer.He will help you deal with it.Its a spirit and can be tackled spiritually.

    • Yea, people who are overly jealous tend to be obsessed and obsession is not love. Infact, obsession is harmful. We should all put our emotions in check. Excessive jealousy is harmful and such people should seek therapy.

  2. Ofcourse every true relationship is based on love and when love is involved, originally jealousy comes to play around but as Marylin said, when trust and confidence is there, even when there are seductive texts from a “wanna be lover”, it would be the item of mockery between the two people involved.

  3. You noted the points clearlly,most times its not only mistrust,insecurity etc but also greed,going with the believe that he/she is mine forgetting that its a very wrong thinking cause he/she is never yours until when married.
    Most men don’t really have or nurse the thought of double dating but due to the fact that they are always wrongly accused,they end up doing that particular thing they are accused of.
    Jealousy is an act of low-self confidence. What is yours is yours!

  4. Nice write up posh,honestly jealousy is a very destructive and calamitous ingredient n a relationship but like u’ve said earlier that a man needs to assure his partner d authenticity of his love n trust for her in other to avoid such occurrence,but jealousy to me is never acceptable.I respected my GF so much dat he can host,receive calls from a male friend n my presence bt it has a limit. Thanks and have gud day posh.

  5. When love is involved in a relationship,definitely jealousy comes in. If you get jealous easily and can’t be controlled,you should go to God in Prayer just as Macoy said.

  6. True love and jealousy go together. I think when jealousy is in small doses then its healthy and serves as an indicator that your partner still cares. Even God the creator of love is jealous!
    Like PoshMarilyn said, constantly reassuring your partner in words and action will go a long way to help.

  7. Jealousy in general erupts from a crisis in trust, distrust feeds jealousy, various factors play host to jealousy in most relationships, jealousy emanates as a result of #comparison, #competition, & #Relevance, #Insecurity etc, overcoming jealousy is the pathway to happiness in any relationship.

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