Bruised skin, blood shot eyes, tears that never get dried! Should these be the result of having a relationship? Ever since I left Martha’s house I have been thinking. I mean, this is not the first time she called me up to complain about her so called boyfriend beating her up or verbally insulting her. The most annoying part of it is that she doesn’t want to let go even when the guy has made it clear to her through deeds and words that she can take a walk. What’s more confusing is, she prays fervently for the guy in question to propose to her. A guy who doesn’t just abuse you physically but who is also very promiscuous. How can a man you are in a relationship with be using his fists on you and you still want him to marry you? Why do some people see fire and intentionally walk into it only to start complaining later? To me, its the height of unnecessary desperation and foolishness. But why do people beat their spouses and why do so many battered people especially women stay in their abusive relationships? Most people seem to think that the major reason why people abuse their partners boil down to the inability to control anger. But personally I disagree because those people who find it easy to hit or verbally insult their partners don’t do same when its their parents, boss at the office or a police officer who stops them on the highway. Domestic Violence which is exactly what I am talking about, is the use of violence to gain and sustain control. Often the person who abuses views the victim as a possession to be controlled. He monitors phone calls and movements, and makes the victim reduce contact with family and friends, and if his possession gets out of line, he smacks it back in place. So domestic violence has little or nothing to do with “Anger management”. Its more about someone wanting at all cost to exercise authority negatively. Yeah! Most men hit women because it works. They get the control that they want and they get their way. But is this the right way to gain respect or control? No sane man beats a woman. To me, men who pound their wives and girlfriends senseless are barbaric, violent and virulent,often drunk or power thirsty. Most of those batterers often feel justified in battering because they were raised in an environment whether a family or neighborhood where violence was accepted as a proper method for solving problems or enforcing the rules. I have given one reason why men abuse women in relationships. You can add yours! But what bothers me most is why most women love to stay in such relationships. For the married ones, I think they just decide to stay because of the kids. What about the single ones who are still dating? What is the reason? Please I need us all to contribute. Let’s share our thoughts… Be Enlightened! Be Inspired!! Be Motivated!!!
Marilyn Anona talks RELATIONSHIP: Why do so many battered people especially women stay in their abusive relationships?