Archive | October 2013

Having a career or a job is not all about the money or salary. Your job has a deeper connection to your entire life than most of us think…. Marilyn Anona

From daily interaction, personal experience and observation over a period of time, I have come to realize that a lot of people do not like their jobs and are just doing it because that’s what they have at the moment and the high rate of unemployment has only made this worse. I worked with a financial institution and throughout the time I spent with them, I was surrounded by colleagues who were always nagging and complaining of how much they loathe their present job and searching for a new one. And this is not peculiar to just my former colleagues, in fact most of us pick up jobs often saying “let me be managing this one” knowing full well that, that is not what we want to do! Why do so many people hate their jobs? There are many reasons why people hate their jobs. ***If its a job you know within you that you do not like at all but are forced by circumstances to take, you will never like the job. You hate the job even before picking it up and as a matter of fact you can never do well with it. How do you expect to be happy or do well as a marketer when you hate the whole idea of marketing such that you have developed a phobia for it. *** A good reason why people may hate their jobs is when an employee stays in a particular level too long. And most times these employees keep their heads down nd don’t complain loudly due to unemployment crisis. They are afraid to talk and they are even more afraid to move. You have an instance where people are employed as graduate trainees for example to be confirmed as proper staff of the company after six months but most times companies don’t keep to their words and have these employees work for more than a year without confirmation. Naturally, anyone in this shoe will not be comfortable. *** Again, when an employee works longer hours beyond the usual hours and isn’t rewarded properly, he or she would feel used and if this lingers on, hatred for the job sets in. *** When work/life balance is heading in the wrong direction, it affects the love for our jobs. Electronic devices and mobile technology have made it hard to turn work off. Emails, texts, action items and reports come flowing in via smart phones, laptops and tablets all hours of the day and night and even on weekends. Gosh! People are exhausted and unable to recharge and enjoy time with their families. This leads to resentment. *** Negative employer/employee relationships can make us also hate our jobs. Negative relationships can range from taking credit for subordinate’s work, under-appreciation, being difficult, bullying, sexual harassment and more. Bosses come in all shapes and sizes and if you don’t have a good relationship with them, you start hating your job! *** When you know what you want to do with your life, when you know your purpose, and your present job has an unclear career path, you start to hate your job. When an employee doesn’t see how they can grow their skills/experiences and advance, when there is no training and development leading directly to advancement, a person who has a dream, ambition and goal in life will not be comfortable with such a job and will start hating it. Now the big question is, who should we blame here? We may choose to blame the government for unemployment crisis, or blame the companies but remember its all about you! Its your job… Its your life… So let’s focus on you and how to remedy this situation. ***Now, If you find yourself hating your job, you need to take the time to stop and think about why. Is it the money? Is it the people? Is it the work or the hours? ***Ok, you know what the problem is! So decide if you are going to do something about it. Or not. But make that decision. If your answer is, “No, I will stay here,” then stop complaining. If your answer is, “Yes, I want to get another job ” then build a plan and execute it! *** At this point, set a goal! This is very important because it makes you not to go for just anything. Articulate what it is you will look for, being very clear and specific. Identify the function, industry, company type, location, salary minimum, and much more. *** This is the most important part. Put this plans into action. It is very important that you love your job. When you hate your job, everything is a task because there is no passion. You feel unfulfilled and depressed. Having a career or a job is not all about the money or salary. Your job has a deeper connection to your entire life than most of us think. When you are doing a job you love, a job you are passionate about, your life is more significant, satisfying and complete. Be Enlightened! Be Inspired!! Be Motivated!!!

This entry was posted on October 26, 2013. 15 Comments

Your 20s is a time when it is ok to make mistakes as long as you learn from them.

If you spend sleepless nights wondering whether you are on the brink of the next big thing or teetering dangerously close to spending the rest of your life in your parents’ house, This is a list of the things you should do in your 20s to be happy in your 30s and 40s… 1. Don’t be afraid to jump at an opportunity. In your 20s, you are still early in your career and life, so you not only have less serious obligations so when an opportunity presents itself that seems really unique or interesting, go for it! 2. Don’t waste your time in a job you hate. Find a job that you are excited to wake up and go to every morning. And if you can, save a little money, please do! Having a little financial freedom will allow you more room to pursue your passion with ease. 3. Don’t buy into what others may prescribe for you! Go after your passion/dream. Don’t be afraid to make that cold call, speak up in a meeting, or try something that scares you every now and then. Ask for what you want and you will get there a lot sooner than you think! There are no limits to what you can accomplish. 4. Write down your non-negotiables. Your 20s are a time to be selfish and to figure yourself out, what you like and more importantly what you are not willing to tolerate. Figuring out your non-negotiables is a must to happiness in the personal and professional areas of your life. 5. Do that thing you are afraid of. If you are scared of heights, sky dive. If you are scared of public speaking, join the Toastmasters Club. If you are scared of failure, do something you know you aren’t good at, in front of people, if at all possible. Facing small fears will make you a bolder and braver person in all other aspects of your life and the big scary decisions – moving across the country, quitting your job, starting your own company – won’t seem so scary. 6. Be willing to embarrass yourself. The possibility for greatness and embarrassment both exist in the same space. If you are not willing to be embarrassed, you are not willing to be great. The biggest risk of our twenties would be never taking any risks at all. 7. Look ahead! Being behind isn’t about comparing yourself to other people. You are behind in your 20s if you can’t get the life you want for yourself by your 30s or 40s. Dare to be intentional with your life, and to be real with yourself about what you think you may want in 10 years. If that’s too scary, ask this question: If I keep living my life exactly as I am now, do I like where I will be in five years? If not, then something needs to change because that’s where you are on track to wind up. 8. Make time to stop and reflect. Reflecting will allow you to see the signs that the world is giving you about your purpose. Once you find that purpose, jump at every opportunity to live for your purpose. And hold on tight because it’s going to be a bumpy ride. 9. Discover your purpose and origin. If you believe in a Creator, then know your Creator in order to discover your Created Purpose. If you don’t believe in a Creator, then believe there’s a legitimate reason why you were put on the planet. That gives you genuine purpose. And purpose is a fuel that’s non-toxic to yourself and others. 10. Choose your friends wisely. The biggest lesson we should learn in our twenties is to look around at the people we are hanging out with. Are they using their time and talents wisely? Have they decided what and who they want to be in life? Our circle of influence defines who we are. 11. Realize that your 20s are going to fly by. No joke. The time is going to pass anyway. You will be 30 before you know it. And when you wake up 30, the only question will be whether you gave it your all. Just go for it! You might fail, but at least you had the guts to try. If there’s something you want to do, then just go do it! Don’t wait. 12. Don’t rush. A lot of us in our 20s are in a hurry to get to where we want to be: graduated, established, promoted, in love. Your 20s are a time where it is ok to make mistakes as long as you learn from them. Don’t be in a rush to be who you are going to be. Just enjoy being who you are. I hope with these 12 points I have driven home points… In taking down these points always remember that you only live once! Be Enlightened! Be Inspired!! Be Motivated!!!

This entry was posted on October 25, 2013. 16 Comments

One thing is clear and certain, we are searching for answers on how to make sense of this messy life that most Nigerian youths live…Marilyn Anona

Sometimes I sit and ponder. I look around, I see a lot of things that just disturb my peace. I think of ways such things can be averted. I think about the youths… Millions of them have been on strike for 3 months now. The ones who managed to graduate from the university few years back are without jobs. The youths who have been called pre-adults, emerging adults, millennials, the defining decade etc seem to be living in difficult situations. Youths with great intellectual endowment are rotting away and taking to all sorts of vices. Greatly talented youths are getting frustrated by the day as there is no one to project them. Our elites prefer to pay women for sex than invest in youths with good skills and talents! Where are we heading to in a society like this? What is our fate? We have been told that 80% or more of the significant events in life take place by age 35. So what is the fate of most youths considering the fact that most finish their youth service programme as early as 21 years old but at 30, they are still trying to get a steady job and not built a career… Most of the youths have ideas, dreams, aspirations etc but most times can’t actualise these things because of so many factors. As a result, they spend their time DAY-DREAMING and unfortunately time waits for no man. The foundation we lay today will carry us throughout our life time. So whether the economy is bad, the government is bad, conditions are not favourable… We all should try to be up and doing. Do our best to live a good life. Let’s all always be eager to make our lives better. One thing is clear and certain, we are searching for answers on how to make sense of this messy life that most Nigerian youths live. Lives of unemployment, Vices, etc. I know, because this is my generation. I know this, because I am a youth. I know this, because I am a Nigerian. Be Enlightened! Be Inspired!! Be Motivated!!!diamond%20bank%20staff

This entry was posted on October 24, 2013. 22 Comments

We all have values though most people go about life not really knowing what they are…Marilyn Anona

Do you know your values? Before you answer this question, be sure you understand the meaning of the word “value”. Values are a set of beliefs that shape our lives. They are the principles that make the core of our being and define who we are and how we choose to be, to do, or to have. They determine what is important for us. They answer the questions, Why am I different from other people? Why do I choose to do certain things and avoid others? Why do I behave a certain way? Why am I attracted to some people and not to others? What am I willing to die for? What am I committed to? And many others. We all have values though most people go about life not really knowing what they are. Some people may know some of their values but they act in an unconscious level, like an automatic pilot. Most of the situations we face in life are acted upon as if they were an automatic reaction, we are not really aware that it is our values that are making us choose how to deal with these situations.

 

Our values are related to our culture, our society, and our own experience. We receive our values from the important people in our lives… first, parents then family members, friends, and other influential people, such as religious leaders, teachers, political and show biz or entertainment personalities, and icons and society in general, and so on. In fact, we keep borrowing values and changing them until we reach a certain level of maturity and decidedly know which ones best serve us. But they are still not set on stone. Each decision we make comes from a value that we hold dear. For example, to me, nothing can take the place of love in my life. Love influences everything I do. To some, patriotism is a great value to behold. To others, education is more important. To some a lie indicates dishonesty, while others couldn’t care less about a white lie here and there. If we want to understand who we are, we need to be aware of the values we hold dear. If we want to understand others, we need to know about their values. It is this learning about ours and their values that will help us have tolerance for the diverse world around us, and accept people just as they are. Our relationships will thrive, especially our loving relationships, a better understanding of ourselves and our partner will lead to a better relationship in general, and, as a product of this understanding, we will find happiness.

That is why knowing of our values is so important. Our values determine who we are and give us directions to where we want to be, what we desire to have, and what we want to do. It is based on our values that we determine our goals, objectives and directions. Now I ask again, what are your values? Be Enlightened! Be inspired!! Be Motivated!!

This entry was posted on October 22, 2013. 8 Comments

I agree with women on that point, but the idea that men, by and large, are not able to respect woman is a completely wrong… Marilyn Anona

I get angry most times when I talk with my female friends and they start talking about their dating lives and how much modern day men are so annoying. It’s not that I don’t think there’s any truth in their statements, but I find their reasoning to be inappropriate, they always complain “Men nowadays treat women with little or no respect, therefore men today are musty as hell”. Most of the time, these complaints come from ladies, women or girls who are not in any position to complain at all based on their behaviour. Why should men respect women when most can no longer live right. Why would the respect level of a man to a woman not depreciate when most women do not exhibit traits of true womanhood anymore? Why is there such a focus on men respecting women, when so many women don’t even respect themselves? This talk about men not having respect for women needs a lot of qualifiers, and the main one is stating that most men don’t respect most women. I agree with women on that point, but the idea that men, by and large, are not able to respect woman is a completely wrong. The truth is, most men want to find a woman he respects, but he won’t grant a woman that until he meets a lady who commands respect.

One thing that most women don’t understand about men is that they love companionship. Most grown men love the idea of having a great woman by his side that he can ride with, provide for, love and start a family with. Men actually do have an idea of what a ‘great woman’ is, and when he finds a woman who exudes those characteristics, he will be openly attracted to her. But on the flip side, when a man finds a woman who is lousy and exudes all of the traits he doesn’t want, he will treat her in the manner that we term disrespectful. Men ain’t about trying to save and shape another adult. You can’t come at a grown man like porn star, prostitute, fighter etc and expect to be treated like a first lady, it doesn’t work like that!

Well ladies, I think it’s time that we allow our men to be open and honest about their experiences out here on the dating scene, because the truth is, the lousy women grossly outnumber the quality women by a long shot. Now I am sure that is true for men as well, and I am sure women won’t hesitate to point that out. But, for this conversation, we are focusing on women. The way we ladies complain about our men, i really don’t think women truly understand that dating has degraded on both sides. Ladies, if we feel our men no longer respect us… Don’t we feel we have in one way or the other contributed to it? Don’t you think women make men disrespect women. I personally think that if more women will live a more principled and value filled life, men will have more respect for women. Let’s not live like clowns and expect to be taken seriously. Be Enlightened! Be Inspired!! Be Motivated!!!

This entry was posted on October 21, 2013. 11 Comments