Archive | July 2013

WHAT WOMEN NEED FROM MEN.

marilyn anona

marilyn anona

People always say ‘To generalize on women is dangerous. To specialize on them is infinitely worse’… Hehe! Is dat to say that we are so difficult?

 

Well, what women want still remains the unanswered question across the globe. Yes, its not good to generalize as we all are not same. We are same gender but we have our differences. But there are few things that every normal woman needs from a man! However, men needn’t lose hope for all is not lost. There are still a good number of things that most women like. Here are a few from the long list which can perhaps help you make her fall head over heels in love with you. Take your pick to woo and sweep her off her feet! ***SUPERMAN: Women love to be protected. So show in more ways than one to prove that you will be her saviour should your damsel land in distress! Women are always in awe of men who can step up in times of conflicts. Be sure you grab every opportunity that situation throws at you.

 

***SMELL GOOD: Deodorant Ads may be going overboard showing men being lured by women’s perfume. But the other way is also true. Choose a deodourant that suits you. Especially if it’s your first date, it’s best not to try anything experimental. Know what smells best on you. Remember, what smelt heavenly on your friend might stink on your skin! For everything depends on your body odour. When you spray perfume on your body, what you smell is a combination of the deo spray and your body odour. Choose wise.

 

***SURPRISES GALORE: Women love surprises be it chocolates, love notes, gifts or even a bouquet of flowers. Women don’t mind them in any numbers. You are sure to score brownie points with this one!

 

***TRANSPARENCY: Honesty is still the best policy. Never lie to her if you are thinking of a long-term relationship. Never mind you will face some initial flak, but eventually you will win over her trust.

 

***PERFECT BODY: What with the celebrities being obsessed with getting a six pack or eight pack abs, girls too go ga ga over men with a well-toned body. Get into the habit of regular workout so you can make heads turn!

 

***DRESS WELL: Nothing turns off a women than a poorly-dressed man. Do a style-check, spot the trends in fashion, speak to a stylist to find out what looks best on you. Clothes maketh man literally!

 

***CROWNING GLORY: Nothing like a funky haircut! A good hairstyle can give you a different look altogether. What are you waiting for? Get that stunner look so you can impress that chick you have been eyeing.

 

***MAGIC OF YOUR HANDS: You might have taken your girlfriend to the hottest restaurants in town, yet she will not mind if you can cook one of her favourite dishes (or even plain instant noodles) when she’s hungry. Such moments are never forgotten.

 

There’s a joke doing the rounds that ‘A woman’s mind is cleaner than a man’s That’s because she changes it more often’. However, there are some things that remain constant. Be Enlightened! Be Inspired!! Be Motivated!!!

THE LADY WITHOUT MAKEUP! What men think…

There is no question that you look better with your hair and makeup done than you do without it. If your boyfriend tells you that you are hotter without it, because he prefers when you “look more natural,” he is either lying or you aren’t doing your makeup correctly. Makeup is designed to make you look better; saying that it doesn’t is like saying that a fresh coat of paint on a house doesn’t make the house look better: it is only true when someone screws up the paint job by using the wrong colors or applying the right ones incorrectly.

 

In any case, although cosmetics give you an undeniable advantage when it comes to controlling your appearance, they come with the burden of deciding when and where their use is appropriate. The following points explain what men think about seeing you done up or in your natural state, so that you can better choose between the two when that decision proves difficult.

1. He cares about first impressions. We all do. They matter. Initial experiences leave an impression on the mind much deeper than most of those that follow; this is simply the way the human brain works. So make sure you are looking great the first few times you meet him; he will remember it. (Note that I did not say that you should be looking “your best” the first few times you meet him. This is because it is always good to keep a little something in reserve. If your “great” isn’t good enough for him, your “best” probably won’t be either. And even if it were, you would have to be completely focused on your appearance in order to barely keep him interested, making your life a living hell.)

 

2. He is going to see you without makeup eventually, so don’t make inordinate attempts to avoid being seen bare-faced after the first few dates. By inordinate I mean things like canceling a date because you won’t have time to do your hair perfectly, or completely avoiding a hike with him because full makeup and hair would be inappropriate. I don’t mean spending an hour getting ready for a date. Spending time to make yourself look your best is normal, not inordinate; so err on the side of doing this more frequently rather than less. Just beware that there is an upper limit to the benefit of added effort, since he will see you without makeup eventually.

 

3. He doesn’t stop wanting to see you done up. There is a misconception among some women that as a relationship develops, a man becomes either (a) less turned on by seeing you done up, or (b) more turned on by seeing you in your natural state. Neither of these are true. In fact, if anything, the opposite is true in both instances, since, as a man grows accustomed to your look, his sex drive starts nagging at him, inclining him to desire other women (though in a good relationship, this is counteracted by emotional investment, time investment, love, etc.) In any case, he certainly doesn’t stop wanting to see you look your best, or grow less disappointed when you reduce the effort you put into your appearance. There is no point at which you can “relax” without implications while you are both sexually active with each other. If this seems unfair, remember the analogy between confidence and beauty: you taking a break from being beautiful for him is like him taking a break from being strong and confident for you. While you could probably sympathize with your man’s desire to relax in this regard, and might even be OK with him showing his weaknesses to you from time to time (see #7 below), you’d prefer to always have him being his strongest, and you wouldn’t be any less turned off by his weakness just because time had elapsed in the relationship.

 

4. He hates a women whose life is dictated by her appearance. The negative effect of being unwilling to do activities that would require you to not wear makeup (camping, surfing, etc.) by far outweighs the advantage you gain by always being seen at your best – especially considering points #2 and #8.

 

5. He loves a woman who is confident in her own skin. Confidence is a character trait that both sexes find incredibly attractive in the other (even if women value it more than men) because confidence is rooted in a healthy self-perception and acknowledgement of one’s own self-worth – which all diligent and contentious people have. The attractiveness of your confidence is much more important than whatever advantage you sacrifice by occasionally being seen without makeup.

 

6. He loves you looking your best during sex. Remember that men are primarily stimulated visually. While there is a certain attraction to being naked with a woman who bares her whole self to you, most of the time a man wants to be sleeping with the hottest woman he can. Again, remember the analogy between confidence and beauty, and consider how you’d feel if your normally confident man man turned into a weak pushover in the sack. I am not saying that you should never have sex without your hair and makeup done. There are some instances in which getting done up just for sex isn’t appropriate, and he’d certainly rather have sex with the “au natural” you than not have sex at all. But when you have the option to get done up, and you find yourself tempted to think “oh, he doesn’t really care” or “we love each other so much it doesn’t matter,” remember this point.

7. There is something intimate about seeing a girl without makeup. When I’ve seen my ex-girlfriends without their hair and makeup done, I’ve had two thoughts: (a) she is less attractive, but (b) it is nice that I get to see this side of her. It is an expression of intimacy – and her confidence – that she can be herself in my presence, and this is worth something. Don’t use this as an excuse to ignore point #3, but allow it to help you if you struggle with point #5.

 

8. He isn’t expecting you to be as hot without it as you are with it. Men understand that you aren’t going to be as beautiful without your makeup on and hair done. This is expected, and it is factored in to their evaluation of your attractiveness. Yes, there are some women who get more benefit from makeup than others, and it is possible for a man to be surprised by how much less attractive a girl looks without it. You can avoid falling into this category by understanding your complexion and wearing makeup that is compatible with your natural look; but regardless, know that men definitely hold you to lower standards when you aren’t made up.

 

A final point is worth noting: a genuinely feminine woman loves looking her best. She takes great pleasure in adorning herself and amplifying her internal beauty via her external beauty. You don’t need to be a supermodel to enjoy this; you simply need to know that you are looking your current best. The more you allow yourself to enjoy looking beautiful, the less you will resent the “need” to do so, and the more comfortable you will feel when you don’t.

 

Be Inspired! Be Motivated!! Be Enlightened!!!Image Continue reading

This entry was posted on July 29, 2013. 9 Comments

The worst thing you can do as a man is to sexually take advantage of helpless girls that look up to you for direction and instructions…UGEZU .J. UGEZU

The worst thing you can do as a man is to sexually take advantage of helpless girls that look up to you for direction and instructions. All things may ultimately forgive you, but you will discover that your own conscience will hardly forgive you. Once you are down, and realise that ALL MEN, at a point, do go down, your conscience will be dealing with you for the evils you unleashed against helpless people.

 

A man named Simeon has concluded his term in jail. He served for twenty years. Now that he is out, the world has left him behind. He doesn’t know where to start, for he is a wreck. The question begging the answer is- what was his offence?

 

As an undergraduate in one of the universities back in the years, he took advantage of the girl that served his mother in their multi million naira house. He threatened the helpless girl at gun point, that if she ever tell anyone what he did that he would kill her. The timid girl was sour afraid of gun and she obeyed the instruction. Simeon then turned her into his sex slave, taking her as often as he wanted. Deep in her poor heart, she cried unto God for help.

 

Then later, Simeon started bringing home some of his friends and they were all sleeping with the helpless girl that had no place to run to. Even as her madam noticed the change in her body and confronted her before the son, she couldn’t voice what she faced for she feared the gun. Simeon was there making demonic signs from behind his mum that she will die if she speaks.

 

Finally, she summoned courage and told a neighbour, with pleading that she would not want to die. The smart teacher was shocked at her confession. She made her contacts and set up a capture trap. One afternoon, they caught Simeon with three of his friends unleashing their evil on the helpless girl.

 

Simeon could not explain it, his family’s wealth failed him and his campus cult was of no help, he was going down for some sins never get forgiveness. He was jailed longer than his friends for he initiated the assault.

 

Now that he is out, the same timid girl has metamorphosed into a high class millionaire with sons and daughters in major universities across the globe.

 

First is that no matter how you try, you can never seal the destiny of anyone that Jehovah has destined for greatness. Then again, believe that God himself is a Radical Authority. That’s why he created this world and left it for mortals to manage. It takes only a Radical to do that. Now I urge you to become a Radical for God and claim what is yours. Enemies of your progress shall never succeed in cutting your rise. Just like the molested and helpless girl, you shall break all odds and metamorphose into what Jehovah had destined for you.

 

Say Amen and Share with your friends. It is possible we shall succeed in touching a soul today. Share as we celebrate the goodness of God.

 

Amen!

 

Ugezu Jideofor Ugezu also known as Mr Surplus hails from Enugwu-Ukwu in Anambra State. He attended Aguleri High School. He graduated from the Enugu State University of Science and Technology (ESUT) where he studied Public Administration and earned a Second Class upper division degree. Within a record period of 3 years, he rose to the position of a producer and director because of his passionate desire to make an impact. He is an actor, playwright and filmmaker and has written more than 50 films. Continue reading

This entry was posted on July 27, 2013. 2 Comments

The Difference Between a Job, an Occupation, and a Career…

Often the terms job, occupation, and career are used interchangeably. People use them in instances where they should not be used.  In fact, they have very different meanings. 

 

A Job

A job is simply work for pay.  You can many jobs in your lifetime that may or may not relate to your occupation or your career. It is therefore a means to live and may or may not be long-term or lead to anything else by way of work. For this reason a job can be seen as one large task or a series of tasks that is typically performed in return for money. Contract work and project work often contain “jobs” that have to be done, usually on a fixed-term basis (even if they are repeated over many months and even years). Individuals tend to talk about their work as “just a job” when it doesn’t give them much long-term career satisfaction.

 

 

An Occupation

An occupation is a wide category of jobs with similar characteristics.  For example, physicians, engineers, educators, and scientists are all different occupations.  Within each occupation, there are different jobs.  For instance, an occupation as an Educator can include positions like teacher, high school principal, elementary school counselor, or school librarian. In other words, an occupation is a broad title for what someone does on a continual basis. This means that all of their work tends to fit into a professional category that most people recognize. 

 

A Career

A career is a lifetime journey of building and making good use of your skills, knowledge and experiences.  It is the total of all events and relationships in your life that may relate to all your work:  family, friends, education, jobs, and leisure activities.  Careers involve choice, skills, talent, long-range planning, passion and often, higher pay.  Each job you take advances you in your career.  If Publishing is your career, you might move from editorial assistant, to staff writer, to managing editor, to editor-in-chief. Any of these posts could be considered a job within your career.

 

So in summary, a job is work for which you receive pay, an occupation is a range of jobs with similar characteristics and finally a career is a lifetime of making good use of your skills, knowledge and experiences.                                  

Be Inspired! Be Motivated!! Be enlightened!!!

This entry was posted on July 26, 2013. 4 Comments

SEXUAL HARRASSMENT…

Why do some superiors bully their subjects? Bosses or employers intimidate their staff/employees, because they feel they have the power to terminate their employment or the power to deny them of what they rightfully merit or deserve. Sexual harassment is such an ugly trend. Its an enemy to productivity and excellence. Sadly it occurs everywhere and every time, such that when one is complaining, some people just stare at the person as if he or she is saying something ridiculous because most people have accepted it as normal, backing it up with this *USE WHAT YOU HAVE TO GET WHAT YOU WANT* so sad and very disturbing. A young girl sees an advert, applies for a job, writes the necessary test, passes through the interview, resumes work very happy with the new job, only to start getting harassed by the employer one week into the job. If the girl accepts and sleeps with the employer, no one will ever know but its not even a guarantee that her job is secure as the man can still lay her off afterwards to employ another lady having the same motive in mind. If the lady refuses, the employer keeps bullying her till she quits all by herself or is sacked. Why? What is the meaning of this? Why must it be going on and on? The problem of sexual harassment is increasingly *coming out of the closet*. Companies are starting to realize that the problem is real, some managers are admitting that it could affect their staff, and more victims are starting to gather the courage to complain. Yet most people do not fully understand the problem, its causes, its consequences, or its extent. Even more difficult is the question: How does one deal with such behaviour? Before considering the causes and consequences of, and possible cures for, this deep-rooted problem, we shall have to define it as some folks may not clearly understand what sexual harassment means, Sexual harassment is bullying or coercion of a sexual nature, or the unwelcome or inappropriate promise of rewards in exchange for sexual favours. And it happens everywhere, workplaces, everywhere. It is unlawful to harass a person (an applicant or employee) because of that person’s sex. Harassment can include *sexual harassment* or unwelcome sexual advances, requests for sexual favors, and other verbal or physical harassment of a sexual nature. Anybody can be harassed sexually. A man can harass a fellow man, A woman can harass a woman, A woman can harass a man but studies have shown that, Women are much more likely to be victims of sexual harassment precisely because they more often than men lack power, are in more vulnerable and insecure positions, lack self confidence, or have been socialized to suffer in silence. 98% of the reported cases of sexual harassment related to men harassing women at work or in work-associated situations. Therefore, although all kinds of sexual harassment – and even non-sexual harassment should be stopped, the focus in this discussion will be the most prevalent kind, of men harassing women. Sexual harassment in the workplace is unwelcome or unwanted attention of a sexual nature from someone at work, that causes discomfort, humiliation, offence or distress, and / or interferes with the job. This includes all such actions and practices of a sexual nature by a person or a group of people directed at one or more workers.

Sexual harassment can consist of unwelcome sexual advances, requests for sexual favours in return for employment benefits, pressure for sexual favours to clinch sales deals, the display of sexually offensive posters, cartoons or drawings, or any other form of verbal or physical behaviour that the recipient regards as unwelcome or embarrassing.

 

Any of the examples above may represent harassment. In all cases it is the consequences, and not the intentions, that count. The severity of the harassment is to a large extent determined by the impact it has on the victim. So “It was just a joke” or “I had too much to drink” is no excuse. Harassment usually relates to intimidation, exploitation and power; not to real, mutual personal attraction and respect.

 

Thus a relationship between two consenting adults would usually not be harassment. Yet if the one party has far more power than the other, and abuses this in the work situation to coerce the other, it could still be a case of harassment. If unwelcome attentions are repeated although they have been declined, or if the person is victimised because of having turned down such advances, the situation becomes worse. So my question today is, having realised that Sexual harassment is becoming worse in our society, how do we put it to an end. The Lagos state government has made it a crime. So if you are lucky to be residing in lagos, you can go to the authority and lay your complaints. My advice to anyone passing through any form of sexual harassment is not to keep quiet. Let’s hear you, talk to someone. There are lawyers everywhere. Don’t fall prey. Let your voice be heard and let’s collectively fight this war against sexual harassment in workplaces. Be Inspired! Be Motivated!! Be Enlightened!!!

 

UNDER AGE MARRIAGE

I  have been so sick and demoralized since I heard about the Senate of the Federal Republic of Nigeria, adopting under age marriage for the girl child. The news disheartened me so much that I have been too weak to do anything. I keep wondering, what the problem is with this our great nation and what brought about this type of Topic or Subject in this century to the point of adopting it. Are we progressing or retrogressing? Are we getting better or worse? Why should any right thinking human think of such to the extent of bringing it up for discussion and in a place like Nigeria for that matter? This is a big shame and grossly pathetic. I am ashamed! Everyone knows that there is no advantage of early marriage. Why should someone who claims to be normal suggest that girls of less than 18 years should get married. Under age marriage has a lot of negative consequences both on the child and the society. Where there is child marriage, we have the highest rates of maternal mortality. Where there is child marriage, rates of infant mortality are high. Where there is child marriage, there are high rates of domestic violence.  Where there is child marriage, there is high prevalence of HIV-AIDS among girls. The International Women’s Health Coalition says girls between the ages of 10 and 18 are five times more likely to die in pregnancy and childbirth than women who are a decade older. Instead of the so called senate to set a minimum age for marriage, they are doing the reverse, what a shame! I feel sorry for us.  Child marriage is inextricably linked to the cycle of poverty. Girls already in school are often forced to terminate their education when they marry, and married girls are prevented from taking advantage of education and work opportunities. So with this what becomes the Fate of Nigeria? I expect UNICEF to come into this because it is not funny at all. Under age (child) marriage must be stopped should not be encouraged directly or indirectly. For me, there should be a law that girls less than 18 years should not get married. Because the overall development of the child in question is compromised, leaving her socially isolated with little education, skills and opportunities for employment and self-realisation. This leaves child brides more vulnerable to poverty! Child marriage is now widely recognised as a violation of children’s rights, a direct form of discrimination against the girl child who as a result of the practice is often deprived of her basic rights to health, education, development and equality. Tradition, religion and poverty continue to fuel the practice of child marriage, despite its strong association with adverse reproductive health outcomes and the lack of education of girls. Please let’s all rise and say no to this Ugly subject. I am glad someone like Stella damascus spoke. Wish I will be given the chance to. Nigeria should get better not worse!!! Anona, Marilyn Oma… Be inspired! Be motivated!! Be enlightened!!!

This entry was posted on July 23, 2013. 1 Comment

THE PROBLEM WITH NOLLYWOOD…

mary%20(5)NOLLYWOOD which has celebrated about 20 years of its renowned existence, not only has thousands of movies to its credit, but has also been serving as one of the major employers of labour in the country and a veritable springboard for the discovery and nurturing of talents in the Nigerian entertainment industry. NOLLYWOOD, is supposed to symbolize the rich cultural, aesthetic and ethical heritage of Nigeria, and indeed, Africa known to attach so much value to moral rectitude, sensibility and credibility. NOLLYWOOD is supposed to be the pride of Nigeria and Africa and a medium through which the country’s image is better designed and portrayed as a place with people of peace, love, unity, honesty and as a matter of fact, a place where morality pervades while obscenity is highly abhored. But what seems to have become of Nollywood in recent times, truly leaves much to be desired in this regard. Right now, NOLLYWOOD is a place where nudity and all manners of vices trend without a moral lesson at the end of the movie. The Censors Board and other regulatory bodies in the industry have got to leave up to expections. They have got to sit up and help salvage our moral values from total collapse. They say NOLLYWOOD is the third largest movie industry in the world. Yes! It may even be the largest, but what about the quality of the industry in terms of the movies produced and the artistes? Acting should be a PRESTIGIOUS occupation but the reverse is the case in NOLLYWOOD, where the industry is considered to be for the empty skulls, mediocres and people lacking principles and values. Such that when you see a wayward person, people will start suggesting he or she enters into nollywood. Its very painful. Acting and everything that’s works together to bring out a movie is and should be creative. But the QUESTION is: does NOLLYWOOD depict creativity? When are we going to be able to make a movie that will be world standard? We can achieve it if we will stop cutting corners, trying at all costs to cut costs, thinking just about maximising profit wiithout thinking about quality. Doing the same story over and over again but with different titles. Making 6movies in 6days. Giving the roles to the wrong people and victimising the ones who can interpret the role perfectly due to one reason or the other. When will NOLLYWOOD get better? Everyone is a director, producer and script writer. Is this supposed to be so? When are going to start using good cameras for our movies? When are we going to start getting the make up right? When are we going to have a NOLLYWOOD that we can boast of? When are we going to realise that acting is serious buisness and for the intelligent and creative people not for every Tom, Dick and Harry. Nollywood can still flourish! Let’s get serious. Be Inspired! Be Enlightened!! Be Motivated!!!